by Lerato Dumse

2023 was my first time getting that 12am kiss to usher in the new year. Shortly after that I joined a prayer session led by a pastor who was part of the family braai I was invited to. That is how my year started. Since CoVid and lockdowns it feels like my life has been on a down slope and moving at a slow pace. I spent my last day of 2022 at a funeral of a young gay man. I didn’t know him but when I was asked to come attend the funeral I went because it was clear how hurt people were and they spoke so highly of him as a community worker. 

Just before the CoVid outbreak hit South Africa in 2020 I had big ambitious plans of finally launching my news business in my hometown Kwa-Thema. During heavy lockdown I wouldn’t let my dreams fail so I took my savings and bought equipment and opened a photography studio. I soon learned that although there is much interest, photography does fall under luxury items and people had to prioritize basics so food, fuel, electricity takes up much of our income. 

I don’t remember remember much of what happened in January 2023, I did get a last minute opportunity to be a photographer at a ten day art workshop creating a play to address the scourge of Gender Based Violence. It was a much needed breath of fresh air being amongst other artists in North West doing what we love most and hosted by an organisation called a message for the living.

I keep myself busy by writing and reading. I struggle with internet connection so I can’t do much random research, which I enjoy doing. My next highlight for the year was going to Paris to see the traveling exhibition by Zanele Muholi. The first opening was at Tate Museum in London and I was sad when I didn’t get a chance to see it as I had been part of the planning process before CoVid. So, getting this chance to see it meant a lot to me. First part is getting a visa. I opted for using public transport to go for my appointment because tollgates alone cost as much as a taxi before I even pay petrol. The trip soon reminded me why it’s more convenient to drive. I had an idea which shopping center I needed to go to but missed my stop. It was not a train smash until I realized I went to the wrong place because for Paris you apply at a different place not like other Schengen visas. So, there I was running in Sandton so I make it for my appointment. I was late but allowed in and made to wait like there was no appointment time.

After waiting for what felt like eternity, made to pay for new pictures and surprise admin costs it was time to go back home and keep my fingers crossed for a positive response. One of the downfalls from CoVid is that we watched our visas and passports expire. I had a five-year Schengen visa and this time they decided to give me 6 months. Its stressful thinking about how I have to apply again. The admin, time and cost of applying for a visa are stressful.

April came and it was Easter season. This year marked a decade since I first attended Victory Ministries Church International (VMCI). Muholi suggested that I drive with team members Thembela Dick, Collen Mfazwe, Ayanda Mqakayi and my partner Refilwe Lentsitse. We usually start our trips early morning but this time we were late and drove during the day. Shortly before leaving I took images of my niece’s dad shortly before he was about to have surgery to amputate his leg. Unfortunately, during this trip I lost my pouch with my SD cards and I can replace the cards but not the content lost.

After Easter it was time for the trip to Paris. It was my first international trip since CoVid Lockdown. With my experience of traveling, I have taught myself to take my food to eat on the plane. My favorite is taking a Kota or pap and stew. My first visit to Paris was disappointing. There is so much hype about that city so I had high expectations. However, this time around I was impressed and understood the hype. Last time I suspect I landed in a different terminal, which looked very local. This time I got the sense I was in an international airport. The cab driver was not rude, so it was a good welcome. I was welcomed by Mbali Zulu, a fellow Faces and Phases participant, home buddy (Kwa-Thema) and fellow artist. She had just ordered breakfast and we shared that while waiting for my check-in time. The time came and I discovered that there was a glitch in the payment. 

Prof Muholi was not happy and assumed I was saying they had not protected my trip enough hence accommodation was not paid. I know that will never happen. Anyway, that matter was quickly resolved and I ended up with a deluxe paid as a double room. Then the exchange rate reality kicked in. The conversion is so crazy that 1 euro vs 20 rand is wild. A simple sandwich and juice are over R100, makes you feel like you’ve bought an expensive kota.

Then I took my first walk in Paris on my way to LaMep to see Muholi’s show. It was supposed to be summer but it was gray, cloudy and rainy. As I turned the corner, I was greeted by a big portrait of Muholi hung at the top of the museum. There was a long queue of people standing in the rain waiting for their chance to enter the museum and see Muholi’s exhibition. I have my work showing at the exhibition and I’m also featuring so no need for me to stand in the line. 

I’ve often said this, one reason I love working for Muholi is because I’m always impressed by their work. Even if I was part of the production, post production, installation process on the day of the exhibition I’m still impressed. This exhibition was no different. I was humbled and had new found respect for Muholi with this retrospective. What I noticed the most was the shift in opinion for Muholi’s work. During the early years the response was very negative including the infamous incident during the exhibition at Constitutional Hill with then minister Lulu Xingwana to current reality of Muholi breaking records with high visitor numbers at LaMep. 

The exhibition covered 2 floors and really needed hours or more than one visit to fully enjoy the show. Seeing some of my images in the Inkanyiso room was so special and one of my highlights. Day before returning to SA Muholi sent me and Ntokozo Maseko on an impromptu visit to MUDEC Museum in Milano, Italy to view one of their other solo exhibitions. That trip was exciting but dramatic because we only had a few hours to spend in the country. We were surprised to learn that there is no Uber service and it was hard to catch a cab and that contributed to us missing our flight. Unfortunately, it was the last flight of the day. We found a local pizza spot and asked to use their internet to try book accommodation for the night. We were in an expensive area; most hotels were fully booked and those that had available rooms were very expensive.

We were lucky to find the last available room at a local hotel and to our surprise it had 3 beds meaning the room was spacious. After dropping our bags Ntokozo and I took a walk to the local river and hung out with locals on a humid summer’s evening. The privilege of being in Europe is that it is much safer than SA and easy to walk around. We made our way back to the hotel just before midnight and went straight to bed as we had an early morning to catch the first flight back to France. 

I had a good and safe journey back home and was not happy to find winter waiting for me. I was told I had been missed during the month I was away and I had missed my family too. I got to spend some time at home before traveling to Eastern Cape in July to be part of Photo XP training. It was one of my most challenging drives travelling from Gauteng. I had a good time reconnecting with Thembela Dick and seeing Sibahle Nkumbi after years of not seeing each other. We spent time and shared many laughs together. We then made our way to Durban and spent a week training a new group, mostly members of VMCI. 

In August I made my way back home and was sick with cramps and stiches. Muholi and a colleague Chantal Wong gave me financial support so I could seek medical care. I went to Milpark hospital and their suspicion was that I have Pulmonary embolism. I went to the ER on August 14 around 6pm and only left the hospital on my birthday August 15 around 5am. It was a bitter sweet start to my 35-years of living. The mark that was left by the drip has finally disappeared. I hated it so much; it looked like I was a drug smoker who uses needles. Also, it was very painful, including the injections I received to deal with the possible blood clots. The actual scan to test my heart would have cost R14 000 and I couldn’t afford that. So, I’m just hoping the injection to thin my blood will be sufficient. 

In September I got to attend Joburg Art Fair. It was so refreshing being around artists especially because there is much happening in my township. I also got an intervention with Muholi giving me a strong word about drinking alcohol and that has helped me to drastically reduce my drinking. Batesta Segale who is a Faces and Phases participant has been inviting me to their home country Botswana and in October I got to attend Gabarone Pride. Apart from the extreme heat I had a really good time and felt very safe in Botswana. 

November came with a request for me to mentor new citizen journalists and I grabbed the opportunity with both hands. I have been having weekly meeting with two participants from Mondeor, located in the South of Johannesburg. These sessions have helped me to go back and read my university textbooks, which I have enjoyed and found refreshing. As I prepare to close the year December has been one of my most productive months especially when it comes to writing and admin work. I have spent many Christmas days alone and looking forward to another tranquil December 25. I am planning to end the year by attending a show and seeing one of my best artists Kwesta perform. 

I’m looking forward to the new year and pray the good Lord will keep me safe and give me the productive strength to finally finish writing my book.