by Mpumi Rakabe

It eats away at the soul
It eats away at the inner most deepest part of us, it’s a demon
It’s a dark fire that fills us with mistrust, self hate, fear, anger, shame and a sense of loss
Loss of self, self esteem, pride, confidence, belief, loss of strength, courage.
It’s a disease that infects our spirits
it cuts us down dramatically at the core
it’s an abyssal we can fall into turning everything that was light into darkness

It’s a cage we don’t want to be enslaved in,
yet looking at the world it becomes a frightening place to line and walk in.

I hate hate hate rape
I detest every person who does this violent act
High such people are evil and have no respect for life not even their own,
because it takes intimacy to create life and to take this holy act and desecrate it
in such a despicable profane way is just abominable.
woman is raped every other second in this fucken country

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck
Fucken Hell

I’m pissed off
She gets raped three times,
different people in different spaces
It took her a lot of years of shutting out the assaults and would happen again
until it happened the last time she reported it and spoke to a counsellor
it brought everything out that was the first time she dealt with it.

It’s very hard to deal with it cause it’s a wound you can’t put a band aid on
and every time she hear someone has been hurt
her wound bleeds all over again
It’s a dangerous thing for women to be alone emotionally
Its bitterly
Give me an empty canvass to pencil how I feel.

Previous by Mpumi

2013 Feb. 25: Another Soul Lost