2013 April 15: Hate

by Moira Khumalo

Biography

I’m from Ladysmith, came to JHB few years ago. I was a sterling sonnet writer at school, never wrote anything outside of pain or trauma, which helped me heal with my challenges as a crippled child who was raised by a bunch of Schizo’s, Bipolars and utter madness. Nonetheless I always saw myself as rose amongst thorns. My background is no fairy tale but through sheer determination and self adoration I loved myself as a queer and never once did I questioned it.

Hate

They say hate is a strong word, but right this minute, Hate is an appropriate word for the wave of emotion I feel in my heart. I hate the fact that I’m subjecting myself to your opinions about who I should be. I hate the roles I have to play and shun what I’m truly am. All these years u’ve molded and engineered the type of daughter that was ideal to u. Well I must say that u’ve succeeded, the daughter u created is the devil u running away from. I hate that the inappropriate has become the appropriate. The decency has turned into an obsession. How do I reason when my mind has been infiltrated by ur standards and my heart by ur demons. I can’t even bare the face of me right now as all that I see in the mirror is the vessel of this deep scared soul. I hate u, I hate u, and hate doesn’t even measure the amount of hate I have. I want to be all that u hate so that u feel how heavy this hate is. I want u to taste this hate so that u’ll know how my meals tastes like. I want to bring the whole new meaning to hate by leaving a big hate mark on ur door steps so that who ever comes in knows that hate was here!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
10h27 pm
2013.04.16

This entry was posted in Abantu, Archived memories, Articles, Before You, Black Lesbians, Career, Connections, Creating awareness, Family, Hope, Hurt, Life Stories, South Africa and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to 2013 April 15: Hate

  1. Miklyn Stout says:

    Very touching and true for many of us. Thank you for sharing your deepest thought and challenges you went through. Very well written.

  2. Theo sibeko says:

    dats a touching story .thnks for sharing with us. .keep it up

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s