“One day we will learn that the heart can never be totally right when the head is totally wrong” inspired by this quote from Martin Luther King’s book Strength to Love (1963).
I realised that the word strength entailed a lot this past weekend for the Makhubu family, the celebratory achievement of their daughter Zandile Makhubu who just turned 21 a little less than a month ago. In the black community it is an achievement to be 21, in university and without a child.
However, there’s nothing novelty about being 21 but there is about being raised in a family that understands, accepts and supports a homosexual child without judgment.
While I was sitting in a beautifully decorated black and pink theme tent, my mind pondered on maybe, just maybe Zandile’s mother had envisioned a drop-dead gorgeous hunk sitting next to her daughter in this beautiful celebration and the only thing that resonated in my mind is that she embodies so much strength and that strength can only be derived from love and with that comes acceptance.
Acceptance is hard to practice especially when you don’t understand that you need to accept, but it only makes sense that it all goes down to our institution of thoughts, reasoning and the ability to love unconditionally.
My observation is that we all draw that very strength from our parents who have accepted us. Through that very strength we can be able to dismantle the battles of ignorance, discrimination and hate, by acknowledging those who maintain their love for us. Let us involve them in our world, our relationships that which differ from theirs by what society has ruled out as demonic and let them be the voice that many have silenced.
Zandile’s Mother strength to speak about her pride in her daughter and speaking up and out about her acceptance and love for her daughter’s sexuality might have changed another parents mind about how they can accept and love, it might have helped another closet case to go home and come out to their family and most of all it might just have changed a homophobes thoughts about the latter.
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2013 Feb. 14: Hello, my name is Zandile, and I am in love with a woman