by Bonolo Mokua

I could never hold her hand
Though I would always get lost in her eyes,
I could never hold her hand
In fear that everyone would see that I am madly in love with her
And they would all be in on my sweet little secret

I could never hold her hand
Though sometimes I would find myself in her personal space,
I could never hold her hand
In fear that someone might be watching and give a violent sneer that would steal away from this love that I felt for her

I could never hold her hand
Though I knew that whenever she would call I would come running
I could never hold her hand
With the knowledge that if her parents knew that she lives in my soul she would probably find herself without a family

I could never hold her hand
Even when all words would be lost and the only thing left to express would be a touch,
I could never hold her hand
For I would always be looking over my shoulder in fear that someone might see and tell about this glow in my eyes every time she would smile and we would have to answer

I could never hold her hand
Though in our private moments I knew that it fit perfectly in mine
I could never hold her hand
And that is why she found a hand that she would write about on social networks and be excited to tell her parents about,
A hand that could ask her parents if it could take hers to have and to hold,
A hand that could stand in front of the world and put a ring on her finger

I could never hold her hand
Because of what I had under my pants, between my legs
I could never hold her hand
Because of your homophobia
Our love will remain unrequited and we will steal moments in the dark to be together.

About the author

Bonolo is a young black accounting profession by day and recreational writer by night. Just passed the rubicon into the dirty thirties. Avid soccer lover. Always smiles away life’s issues.