Bottles were always popped
We club hoped all night
I was always high
High on weed
Drunk in love
Your love my weakness
The night was always young and we were

I spent my youth falling in love
with you.
With you I lived a thousand words
Ngakubiza nkondlo yami ebhalwe emzimbeni wami.
I lived a thousand years
whether ngingaphezulu or ngingaphansi kwakho
I thought my loving you was my life
but now when I am gone from this
I now know where I died
I remember.

You sang for me and took my breathe away.
I gave up life to live at your side
Your side made me alive until the day
I looked in the eyes of the monster.
The monster I loved.

“A lovers quarrel will strengthen the relationship”
You will say we are stronger today then we were yesterday.
Because yesterday I saw your weakness
I saw the vulnerability in your eyes.
When each fist I got.
Evoked a fire that rekindle a love so deep that I fell in love
I leave a thousand years
whether ngingaphezulu or ngingaphansi kwakho.
I thought I lived but what the love I thought was.
Was my grave.
I lived in my grave when I thought I lived a thousand years.
Ngingaphezu or ngingaphansi kwakho.
I chose to stay decorates with black and blue
coz a part of me believed.
I died every time I was black and blue.
I remember when I died
I died when I chose to love my abuser.

by Phila Mbanjwa

© 28/05/2015

Previous by Phila

2015 July 1: Accepting my calling

and

2013 March 10: “I love women and they love me”