by Zodwa Nkwinika

I screamed, begged you to stop tried to push you off,

But you were too strong, I couldn’t get you off me.

The more I screamed for help was the more my voice faded,

and I got you even more aggressive.

That night, a part of me died, you took away my pride, my virginity,

You took more than you could ever know, you stole my innocence,

Left me dark and empty, I looked at my ripped clothes and realised,

that it wasn’t just my clothes that had been ripped, my entire being

had also been ripped.

As I picked myself up, trying so hard not to show what had just happened

to me,  I realised that a part of me would be left dead in that park, I

realised that I had lost more than my innocence, you wanted to change

me, but into what, because I already know I’m a woman, I’ve never been ashamed

of that, my womanhood was my pride.

You took away my confidence, my pride and left me an angry woman, that

had never known men to be cruel.  You put in me the fear of darkness,

fear of men, fear of parks, you stole my innocence,  but the thing that you missed

is that, that has not changed me I am who I am, born to be me, not to be changed

by you.

Yes  you stole my innocence but I am not changed!!!!!!!

I am not CHANGED!!!!!!

(c)  2002

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featuring in Faces & Phases

About the author: Zodwa is proudly femme, loving sister and daughter. She is a human rights defender/activist who believe that spoken word is ‘relief”. Between 2006-2007 worked as a Trainee programmes Officer for the Forum for the Empowerment of Women (www.few.org.za) for so many years.  She started writing as a teenager. Currently employed as a Human Resources Administrator for educational NGO.

Her texts featured in FEW newsletter in 2006/7, also in Women in Writing.