2019 Feb. 6: Ukuzalelwa ekhayeni lama Thonga.

by: Nonkululeko “Sicka” Mthunzi

Everyday can be a struggle, an exciting or just a normal day but it’s just a new day everyday. It means its another light that shines on us; saying this reminds me of my aunt who every time I cried and complained that life is unfair would ask “if you think you don’t deserve what you are going through who do you think deserves it?”

Life is so fair because when the sun shines it shines on everyone even the most evil human beings”. 3am iskhathi samadlozi been up and reminiscing about something I don’t even know. I just have uneasy feelings inside me; everything seems hard and heavy. I even convinced myself that I’m suffocating in this body of mine. I thought of meditating but my heart wouldn’t let me, it was like we were in different universes.

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My heart seemed alien to my body, my mind convincing my demons to come and feed on this devastating emotion I can’t even explain. 04:30 mum is up getting ready to be enslaved by her jealous boss. This will end soon, since we are going to be business partners. I sit in my dark room listening to different sounds trying to avoid this feeling that keeps knocking in my soul, seeking my attention. I told myself that I would not give it what it wants, honestly a lot off people rely on me everyday.

This is my life almost everyday but I’m used to it sadly I can’t say much for my mum and my little sister. Nosipho my little sister came home mad and hurt and she had a look on her face that said I almost killed someone today. As she was about to break down the events of her day at school I was also still on my rollercoaster of emotions and have all my 15 personalities switching in between minutes. Ahh well! What can I say; it comes with being a healer that is true to themselves and life.

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“Yho Duma (my ancestral name shortened) my day was the worst” that’s the first thing she says. Then she goes on about her two schoolmates that she walks with everyday, how they had a misunderstanding about swapping of their “white” matriculant jerseys and she found herself caught in between. I always taught my sister to avoid stupid fights and arguments before they escalate. What made her mad was she tried avoiding it but I guess the two girls had their issues.

“Kaffir” and “Nigger” are terms used for verbal attacks on Africans and African Americans for decades. Although we say Apartheid is over, that doesn’t mean racism is over. When a white person uses these words on a black person it’s insulting because we know there is a double standard to that no matter where it came from. In our case as healers there are certain expressions a person would use that might imply we practice dark magic. I’m used to it because honestly I don’t have time for negative people who just have issues with people who practice African medicine. For my sister its still a struggle and gets to her because her sister is a traditional healer. When she was trying to find a solution to the problem and giving them each their jerseys the one said “why selibuye eskhaleni lifakweni” which means why is her jersey brought back what did they put in it?

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When I heard those words and saw the emotions on my sister I was broken and mad because I understood what she is going through. This child seems to think my sister is out to get her, while all my sister was doing was trying to calm the situation. I honestly feel bad for this girl because of all the anger she is carrying and the worst part is that my sister was the one who asked a teacher to help donate school uniform for her and now had to receive such insults.

This kind of incidents are one of many that we go through as a family but that doesn’t mean we stop and change how we live because a few ignorant people have a problem no I refuse. Negativity from hate is a problem to our People and it has blinded us to a point that we don’t realise that the fight is poverty not each other. Our lives shouldn’t be projected in a negative way just because people are enslaved in their minds.

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Let’s love each other and embrace one another, lethonga elami, lihlezi linami ngasonke iskhathi liphinde lingivikele kulezi vungu vungu zalomhlaba. Trust your ancestors and God and everything will prosper at the end, no matter how much hate people give you. Enkosi makwande uthanda Makhosi

Previous by Sicka:

https://inkanyiso.org/2017/03/15/iam-making-history/

https://inkanyiso.org/2016/05/26/2016-may-24-the-joys-and-troubles-of-being-a-father/

https://inkanyiso.org/2016/02/09/2016-feb-4-intwaso-yase-market-photo-workshop/

https://inkanyiso.org/2015/09/07/2015-sept-1-mr-miss-lgbti-daveyton-2015/

This entry was posted in "Free from My Happiness", "Scratching the surface", 'Sicka' Sharon Mthunzi, Acceptance, Affirmation, Africa, African, African continent, Ancestors, and Queerness, Anger, Anti-depressants, Arguments, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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