by Ntsiki Cassie Dlamini

In memory of Zoliswa Nkonyana (19), who was stoned to death in Khayelitsha in 2006.
_____________________

Your piercing stares

uncloth me

Whilst your nasty comments

dehumanize and humiliate me

Your laughs behind my back

drove me, drove me

drove me, deep, deep into

my own universe

A place, a friendly place

Where being different was okay

A place where souls

found each other

A place where I could be

genuinely happy

In this place meaningless

things such as

gender, sex organs or sexuality

didn’t matter.

Although in your universe

Although in your universe

I realised the starring

were piercing deeper

the comments

were harsher and

your laughs had gotten

even more louder

I turned a blind eye

that I was an outcast

So I kept to myself

with my head held low

to avoid drawing

more unnecessary attention

And yet at the age of 19

You felt you had

tolerated me enough

You tore me open with
your weapons and bare hands

I felt like I was drowning,

drowning 
in my own blood

no one cared to save me

Each beating, 
stabbing and rock than tore

my flesh open

I named them one by one

Activist, Feminist, Homosexual, Struggle

Acceptance, Justice, Power

and it was well with my soul

For you have given the

ones left behind the strength

to fight for me and themselves

I lay there after you

were done with me

to listen to my own life leave my body

Finally you have killed me

Not with your laughs

nor comments

neither your stares

But you killed me like

an animal with no feelings, 
no mercy

heartless and cold

Only because I am a lesbian

You didn’t understand me

You didn’t even

want to try

We will live on

for we were born to live

whether accepted by

you or not but

we will still live on

We will keep on fighting for our freedom

The struggle continues…

__________________________

About the author

Ntsiki Cassie Dlamini is a young beautiful South African proud lesbian woman, activist.
She’s from a small town, Pietermaritzburg. Studied Arts & Drama at University of KwaZulu Natal (UKZN).
In 2006, she volunteered at the Gay & Lesbian Network as a health counsellor, and facilitator.
She also participated in the Rainbow Theatre Company, a drama group that showcase the difficulties that same gender loving persons are facing on daily basis.
She is a writer and spend most of her spare time writing.

Her previous works:

2013 Feb. 16: My own perfect

2013 Feb. 11: I almost wished