by Siya Mcuta

I keep having these flashes

Flashes of her smile when I entered her ward

I walked over to her

Still I was not sure if it was her

As her body was so small and frail in a bed unable

To move

She still smiled so beautifully it broke my heart

I smiled back as I gave a warm weak hug

I was scared to hug lest I break her fragile body

She held me in her arms, she wanted to cry but I stopped her

As I had no idea what I would do if she did cry

We spoke for a while until an hour passed

I didn’t want to go; the security had to chase me out

I left promising to go back the next day

But life got in the way

When I went back to visit bearing gifts

I remember her words like she keeps saying them

She said “wena you promised but you didn’t come

But I know ku busy ndibulela nje uba ulapha kuyadika uhlala apha wedwa”

From that moment I knew
I had to be there each moment I got time

Due to work and being busy we forget the most important things in life

I had forgotten that life was not standing still waiting for me

I had forgotten that I made a promise to myself to treasure family and friends

I could have gone to visit her more but I kept putting it off

With the hope that I will go tomorrow and

tomorrow becomes tomorrow

She died a lonely soul, friends and some family members had forgotten

About her, she hoped and waited for her friends to visit but we were too busy

To even think about her

Now she’s gone leaving us with regrets, tears, and lonely hearts

With the knowledge that she is not coming back

With the knowledge that we will never see that smile again

She will never send messages and ask to visit her again

Or tell you ‘wena chomy wandilahla khanguze nozondibona kodwa ndiyagula’

Imkile intombi kaMahlungulu kwaye soze iphinde ibuye

Isishiya nezozazela nomvandedwa ezintliziyweni

Sishiyeka sisithi akwabe kube sekwabekile

Ingathi kuyadlalwa abantu bamane besithi hayi mani uswelekile

Imkile intombendala into ishiyeke nathi

Eshiya isifundo esithi ubom bubalulekile kwaye ixesha yinto yokuhlonitshwa

Intliziyo zethu ziyakukhulula ke nzwakazi

Imiphefumlo ixhelekile kodwa ke akunani ulusabele ubizo

Hamba kakhle ke nzwakazi, mbelukazi

Nalapho uya khona uzusikhonzele

This Poem is dedicated to Nomawabo Wawa Mahlungulu
May her soul rest in Peace we will always miss her.
She was one of the people that formed Free Gender hopefully her death is not for nothing.

© 03/04/2013

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