by Jeremiah Sepotokele
On the 29th December 2013 was a day I would never forget. I had a lot of issues with my body for the longest time, and when the Inkanyiso team took to the task of photographing hot trans and effeminate gay men at the Durban North beach.
All of my internal insecurities resurfaced.
The day before the shooting was amazing, picking my favourite yellow swim suit that really complemented my complexion was a challenge… We walked around the Workshop in town with my colleagues holding shopping bags like we had all the money in the world. I was excited having selected my beach gear but had shivering instances where I would think about the day that lies before me.
My journey with my weight has been quite an emotional rollercoaster and although I have grown to appreciate it dearly. Before I lost an enormous 20 kg of depressing fat, life was not the same when it came to my confidence. But this remains a topic for another day.
So on the day of the photo shoot all my girls got ready and I was not to be left behind. We did all the dressing up in the white Quantum taxi we came with. There was already the sisterhood explosion with everyone being of assistance to the other.
I was mostly embarrassed being coached to tuck my chunk by my adopted mother Lesiba AKA Queen Lee.
Having rocked up my swimwear that was oozing with colour, my confidence was just above room temperature.
Although our makeup artist didn’t pitch to complete our looks it wasn’t a train smash struus Bob!!!
My makeup was tiptop courtesy of her Majesty Madam Candice who flicked her kit and crafted a goddess out of ziltch.
The first group photo was a good warm up, as the cold beach breeze was kissing my skin without fail. A great deal of hot chocolate would have helped with the zoooch to pave my way in front of the camera without effort. But hey a diva gotta do what a diva gotta do… Can I get an A-men?
We strutted our stuff, well coordinated poses that could give Naomi Campbell the run for her dollars.
Snap Snap Snap… the ladies were just above average, bonding with the waves like it was going out of fashion.
Talking about fashion, we really stepped up to the plate and licked it clean.
The finer details and accessories made every babe look regal in the kingdom of the roaring sea accompanied by questionable stop and stares.
I was completely blown away by the huge energy ball that rolled in between my girls. I was dealing with my insecurities at the midst of all the energetic commotion, and having to come out of my cocoon. My individual stills were as equally interesting and awks.
I might have thought that all the years of viewing Americas Next Top Model would come in handy considering Tyra Bank’s tutorials on the show.
Well my attempts to emulate her poses had me look like a lost asylum…
However, the crew and my sisters covered me with support and advised I unleash the sexy vixen that I caged.
Boy, I did just that without fear of scrutiny. I gave it all that crossed my mind although at some point one would have remarked: What the fuck???
This entire experience has taught me to question what beauty and perfection is.
Sweety, I can now say I am learning a lot about myself…
Beauty is very much socially constructed too.
I believed (at some point) that I was a delectable babe and as soon as it dawned on me
I just poured with seduction far better than average porn star would (this part is not for under 18).
This was indeed an experience of a lifetime and hey Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha and their bouncers know I would do this again best believe.
To all that made this day possible ke lerata ka love.
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