Text and photos by  Levinia Pienaar

Noxolo Xakeka, a 23 years old latest victim of hate crime was laid to rest on Saturday 20th January 2018 in Bredasdorp, Western Cape. On the 1^st of January many babies were born and other significant incidents happened. The photo of the 1^st baby born in the Western Cape appeared the 1^st working day newspapers. However, Noxolo (Noxi), was the 1^st lesbian to be killed out of homophobic hate crime by a man who wanted her to be with a man and not a woman.  Yet her death, the first one in 2018  didn’t make highlights in the mainstream media.

Members of Freegender and allies chanted protests songs during the funeral service
Noxi, who was the breadwinner at home and fend for her Mother, little sister and her  son. She was the “Dr. Phil” among her friends in Strand, where she stayed and worked till her death. The funeral could only take place 20 days after her brutal murder because friends and organizations assisted her mother to give her a respectful funeral. Emotions arose as Freegender members, friends and Noxi’s partner expressed their emotions. (Freegender is a black lesbian organization based in Khayelitsha).
Her son looked so “confused” in a way, as many people just wanted to hug him, care for him, etc. I could not imagine what he was going through.  Funeka Soldaat, an activist and founding member of Freegender, thanked the Pastor, elderly in church and congregants  for accepting LGTB people in the church and for the manner in which they conducted the service. Funeka mentioned that as a lesbian or gay person you fear even the Church because of homophobia.

After the Service, Noxi’s partner, her close friends and some Freegender members went to the kitchen to prepare something to eat (with money they received from donors) and they all just broke down. Tears were rolling down their faces afterwards when the food was served. With every plate and container which went out of the kitchen, a lot of tears and pain and despair went with it. During that time, her little boy went from person to person to “comfort” them.  They were the ones supposed to comfort him.  He was not really aware of his loss. When her partner, picked him up, it was then when my eyes got filled with tears. Deep in my heart I prayed that her mother, family and friends would allow her access to the boy. In heterosexual relationships it remains a “norm’ that a child gets reared by the remaining partner. In same sex relationships things like that are not perceived as the “norm”.

Hate crimes on LGBTI persons hardly get recorded. Noxi was the 1^st lesbian to be killed in 2018 in South Africa because of homophobia.  No “prominent” politicians, ministers, Deputy Ministers, etc. attended the funeral.

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