2013 March 8: Affirmation – I Am A Lesbian

Well my work involves me interacting with lots and lots of people in different ways, be it by phone, by mail and face to face.

I interact with males and females in different age groups and in different Levels of positions and racial groups.

When I take time out I usually want to be in my comfort zone, the LGBT community.

I went to a beauty pageant recently, it was quite nice just being there until a gay guy asked me “are you a lesbian?”

I was dumb struck but nodded and immediately fell out of place, thinking to myself, what is it that he saw in me for him to ask me that question?
Do I look straight maybe?
Laughed it off with a friend and continued with enjoying myself.

I’m volunteering for an organization and in one of the sessions we had a straight guy that needed some assistant with a project he is working on. He joined the session, we all pitch in with ideas and off he goes.

A week later he calls me says he is having some issues with the guy he is working with so I assist him professionally without meeting with him. The next day I get a call asking me out for drinks and to get to know each other better, mind you this guy has seen me with the person I’m seeing many times.
So I find myself asking myself the same questions again.
Why don’t people acknowledge or don’t see me as a lesbian women?

So I’ve been reading this book titled Rocking the cradle: lesbian mothers: a challenge in family living ·
by Gillian E. Hanscombe, Jackie Forster (1982)

The same lesbian mothers and challenges of being in/ outside their families – either queer or hetero families still persists today. The prejudice that exists within the lesbian community is what we have to endure on daily basis.

The book gives a description of what a lesbian is suppose to look like.

It highlights says:

“the usual idea of a lesbian is of someone you wouldn’t really like to take home to tea with your mother, someone who isn’t quite nice, someone who is possibly mad, or possibly dangerously possibly freakish and pitiable.”

Now the text said that in 1982 and many still stuck in such notions now 2013.
Are we still supposed to look like that in this day and age?


I’m the total opposite

I’m the type of lesbian woman your mother would be happy to have as a daughter in law and invite the whole family to come have tea with.

I am the lesbian woman your brother would envy you and say what a waste, she could be my wife.

I am the type of lesbian woman that walks down the street with pride.

Proud to be a lesbian.

Proud to be your woman.

Proud to be a woman who loves other women

I come out yet again

I am Proudly South African

A, Proud South African Femme Lesbian.

I, am a Proud Lesbian mother

by: Charmain Carrol


See previous article by Charmain Carrol


This entry was posted in Abantu, Activism, Black Lesbians, Community, Connections, Life Stories and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to 2013 March 8: Affirmation – I Am A Lesbian

  1. vuyisile says:

    MmMm gud one I love t

  2. lesegotj says:

    Wow, reading this makes me wanna take you home to go meet my whole family and my great grand-ma. Nice read Charmain…

  3. Lynn says:

    It is true tymz haz changed. Yes b a lesbian woman tht ppl wshes thy were u u knw

  4. Lebo says:

    nice poem indeed.

  5. We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your site offered us with valuable info to work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our whole community will be grateful to you.

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  7. Ramazan Ngobese says:


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  9. ounah says:

    wel wise words…….learning.

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  11. Pingback: 2013 Sept. 19: The killing of Mandisa was immoral and uncalled for | inkanyiso.org

  12. Pingback: 2013 Oct. 15: She is my weakness | inkanyiso.org

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