by Thulielove Gifted Hands Sodumo

I have always been optimistic because really I have never had any reason not to be.
It has always been like a driving force in my life and it worked alot of times and sometimes it didn’t but still there was always something to learn and be my optimistic self again, kind of like ”you cant keep a good woman down”.

As stated it worked alot of times but not in the relationships department, it has always been a difficult one hey.
If you think getting a woman is hard when you are ”normal” and have no disability or ailment then think again cause you my friend you are blessed beyond measure.

It is like double trouble *lol*
like no man you cannot be disabled and be a lesbian in my case (pansexual) but I will use lesbian because I am sort of, kinder one  and because I will be talking about the side of me that desires and lusts over women.

Anyway I was on some other lesbian group and this girl had posted… ”guys do you think we have disabled lesbians?”.
I wanted to jump off my chair and slap her silly for being that ignorant and shallow.
A part of me wanted to troll and be nasty but then I thought of my own shit and my own difficulties dating women. I thought she really was genuinely asking because I am starting to feel like the only disabled woman in the world who’s attracted to others, because many disabled people lack the confidence of saying ‘hey I am disabled and a lesbian’.

I get them, society is quick to shut and marginalize people, because we live in such a vain and shallow world it’s hard to come out, because many women look at you and think sex.  As much as lesbians always deny this and act like they really not that into sex, they are!

They look at you and think three things:
1: she never get’s horny so how in the world we ever going to fuck.
2: she must be invalid and I cannot take that much responsibility.
3: she’s emotionally damaged therefore she comes with alot of issues and garbage.

I have had women say shit like ”wow I didn’t know sex with you was going to be like that considering the fact that you in a wheelchair.”
It used to hurt me, I would feel so insulted and automatically want to defend myself and start shit but I have since learnt to smile, take it as a compliment because not so many women are exposed to such things.

Once I had a friend tell me ”yho you are double trouble, lesbian and disabled, which one to pray for first?”
..another ignorant one, poor thing.
I mean who gets to be lesbian?
The skinny and tall?
The chubby?
The rich?
Who?
I mean my God who gets to be in a lasting and happy relationship with a woman because it sure feels like double trouble alright from where I am standing oh no no, where I am sitting.

My optimistic nature gets defeated really because sometimes the logic behind some things is hidden and a mystery to me.

Then by luck or natures silly humour a lesbo approaches you and wants to take you on a date but she’s not your type (aha! Yes! We do have types too, we are human after all).
Then you feel like you need to settle because shame she is different unlike that yummy sexy lady you wanted and she ignored you so hard until you pinched yourself and even slightly doubted your existence.
You go on a date with this brave, not so goodlooking lady and you appreciate and admire her only to find out she’s a bigger asshole because after all this she expects sex from you on that first date.
Yes!
You are horny but not desperate because you haven’t been screwed for maybe months or years lol.
Yes!
It would’ve been lovely getting screwed until your numb ass can’t sit on your chair for long because of your swollen clitoris and your painful vagina from all the mindblowing sex, but heavens please!
She then tells you once you refuse to give it up.
”I was doing you a favour” what the fuck?
So see?
The unsettling part is a pain in the ass because people there get all ass-holly.

I know out there there are disabled lesbo women who are appreciated and loved, pampered and fucked till they are blue. (oh how I’d love that)
that have partners who’d do anything for them, who sees beyond the chair, the crutch etc.
God bless y’all may it never change the world needs more of you.

And then there’s the vain and egoistic ones who dismisses you without even finding out one thing about you, or they interested but scared of what the society will say…

Previous articles by Thulielove Gifted Hands

2013 April 3: Reflecting on InterSexions

and

2013 April 4: Gender blind