2013 June 11: Double Trouble

by Thulielove Gifted Hands Sodumo

I have always been optimistic because really I have never had any reason not to be.
It has always been like a driving force in my life and it worked alot of times and sometimes it didn’t but still there was always something to learn and be my optimistic self again, kind of like ”you cant keep a good woman down”.

As stated it worked alot of times but not in the relationships department, it has always been a difficult one hey.
If you think getting a woman is hard when you are ”normal” and have no disability or ailment then think again cause you my friend you are blessed beyond measure.

It is like double trouble *lol*
like no man you cannot be disabled and be a lesbian in my case (pansexual) but I will use lesbian because I am sort of, kinder one  and because I will be talking about the side of me that desires and lusts over women.

Anyway I was on some other lesbian group and this girl had posted… ”guys do you think we have disabled lesbians?”.
I wanted to jump off my chair and slap her silly for being that ignorant and shallow.
A part of me wanted to troll and be nasty but then I thought of my own shit and my own difficulties dating women. I thought she really was genuinely asking because I am starting to feel like the only disabled woman in the world who’s attracted to others, because many disabled people lack the confidence of saying ‘hey I am disabled and a lesbian’.

I get them, society is quick to shut and marginalize people, because we live in such a vain and shallow world it’s hard to come out, because many women look at you and think sex.  As much as lesbians always deny this and act like they really not that into sex, they are!

They look at you and think three things:
1: she never get’s horny so how in the world we ever going to fuck.
2: she must be invalid and I cannot take that much responsibility.
3: she’s emotionally damaged therefore she comes with alot of issues and garbage.

I have had women say shit like ”wow I didn’t know sex with you was going to be like that considering the fact that you in a wheelchair.”
It used to hurt me, I would feel so insulted and automatically want to defend myself and start shit but I have since learnt to smile, take it as a compliment because not so many women are exposed to such things.

Once I had a friend tell me ”yho you are double trouble, lesbian and disabled, which one to pray for first?”
..another ignorant one, poor thing.
I mean who gets to be lesbian?
The skinny and tall?
The chubby?
The rich?
Who?
I mean my God who gets to be in a lasting and happy relationship with a woman because it sure feels like double trouble alright from where I am standing oh no no, where I am sitting.

My optimistic nature gets defeated really because sometimes the logic behind some things is hidden and a mystery to me.

Then by luck or natures silly humour a lesbo approaches you and wants to take you on a date but she’s not your type (aha! Yes! We do have types too, we are human after all).
Then you feel like you need to settle because shame she is different unlike that yummy sexy lady you wanted and she ignored you so hard until you pinched yourself and even slightly doubted your existence.
You go on a date with this brave, not so goodlooking lady and you appreciate and admire her only to find out she’s a bigger asshole because after all this she expects sex from you on that first date.
Yes!
You are horny but not desperate because you haven’t been screwed for maybe months or years lol.
Yes!
It would’ve been lovely getting screwed until your numb ass can’t sit on your chair for long because of your swollen clitoris and your painful vagina from all the mindblowing sex, but heavens please!
She then tells you once you refuse to give it up.
”I was doing you a favour” what the fuck?
So see?
The unsettling part is a pain in the ass because people there get all ass-holly.

I know out there there are disabled lesbo women who are appreciated and loved, pampered and fucked till they are blue. (oh how I’d love that)
that have partners who’d do anything for them, who sees beyond the chair, the crutch etc.
God bless y’all may it never change the world needs more of you.

And then there’s the vain and egoistic ones who dismisses you without even finding out one thing about you, or they interested but scared of what the society will say…

Previous articles by Thulielove Gifted Hands

2013 April 3: Reflecting on InterSexions

and

2013 April 4: Gender blind

This entry was posted in Life Stories, Our lives in the picture, Portrait, Power of the Voice, Relationships, Sexual Liberation, Sexual Politics education in South Africa, South Africa and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to 2013 June 11: Double Trouble

  1. Funeka says:

    Eye opening….the way we sometimes take thing forgranted…..you are a person not the chair…..#speechless

  2. clear peaceful mind says:

    I can only smile Thulie, great insightful piece.
    Thank you.

  3. M.Tabohane says:

    I am humbled by dis women words, I feel blessed to have such an inspirational women. I don’t see u as a disabled and lesbian women. The truth is in I see truely loving spirit. In you I see a maginified woman, a physically challenged woman. Being disabled n being a lesbian is not a curse nor sin but we r allowed b loved n give dat love back to ada women out de wo can’t have wat we r havin. I’m proud of u my sister. De society n friends/family have no right judge us by being gay, straight n disabled. In the eyes of the living GOD we are equal. GOD loves us unconditionally.

  4. Tommyg says:

    Mind blown away, i wish the disabled woman i once dated years ago was like you, but she had so much self pity. I love this piece, quiet funny and insightful i feel like i’ve just taken a trip deep into been your mind and heart and body *tongue out*

  5. Nombuso says:

    You’re an amazing, beautiful liberated soul with a magnetic energy. You’re gifter with a kind wisdom that is…timeless.

  6. Nkuli says:

    Love this article.it is really an eye opener for a lot of people,our society needs such information.

  7. Nombuso says:

    You’re an amazing, beautiful liberated soul with a magnetic energy. You’re gifted with a kind wisdom that is…timeless.

  8. ntombie says:

    Wow ! Yoh! Jah! Wat a wake up call thnx ,, dankie . You are the best my God be with u .

  9. Leptie Haute Couture says:

    Its a stupid question indeed…makes me question some peoples intelligence or I must say they narrow minded (don’t like such people)
    Nice piece,totally loved it…….and of course us lesbian we suckers for Sex!

  10. Diane says:

    What an amazing woman you are thuli, with such a beautiful soul..enjoyed the piece with a smile on my face…

  11. Sibo says:

    Informative read

  12. thenjiwe says:

    Its sad to know that there are ignorant people out there. The situation your in doesn’t make you. What you make of it does. Beautiful article, you are not your chair. Thank you for sharing your story. Beautiful…
    People shouldn’t be proud of their ignorance.

  13. Reagile Makwela says:

    Wow…what an amazing eye opener! (Smh) I have always wondered about the topic at hand.

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