2013 Nov. 12: God, the lesbian, the sin

 
Oh why is it that I feel I have sinned
I have lusted over her,
with hips so wide.
There’s nowhere for me to hide
What sin is this?
What scale will it be measured by
God?
The lesbian
The sin

It’s just so damn confusing
Why does she have to possess perky breasts?
That make me drool and wet.
Why does she have to be so soft
and when she moves the wind sways towards her direction.
God
The lesbian
The sin

I converse with God every night
this is what he says:

“You are my daughter I love you with everything that I am,
I have said in my word I do not approve of your lust over other women,
I do not despise you,
I despise the demon in you.”

I do not mean to speak out of turn,
but
Why does she have to smile and make my insides shudder in fear?
Why does she have to have a posture so great I want to climb and do things to her?
Why am I so taken by her nakedness?
Everything sinfully winking at me to bite
Bite and touch,
Touch and caress,
Caress and penetrate,
Penetrate and cum,
Cum in floods,
Floods of ecstasy that no man has ever achieve.

I converse with the Devil after every lustful ordeal,
here’s what he says:
“God is telling you shit.
Fuck her,
Love her,
Lust over her,
Do whatever you feel is right and pleasure yourself.
Indulge in this for the greatest sin would be to deny yourself what God has allowed,
this is no sin it simply is happiness.
He wants you to be happy right?
So he says, “I want you to live freely with no rules after all my lesbian,
the Bible is full of threats and blackmail.”

Oh but why does it hurt when I disobey my Creator?
How can you say such,
I don’t know if you are to be listened to.
I wonder if you deserve any of my attention
but you make so much sense
God
The lesbian
The sin

Why does she have to moan in bliss?
Why are her eyes so inviting?
Almost like windows that peep through her soul.
Her curvy chubby body does things to me,
that are incomprehensible to any scribe.

I spoke to the lesbian after the mind blowing sex she had
But why do you do this?
What is it about women that draw you in?
Do you believe you are possessed by a demon, so sexy and fatal?
Here’s what the Lesbian said:
“But I have tried for so many years to suppress these feelings,
I went out with guys,
I slept with them,
I had babies with them,
Hell I married three of them,
but the feeling wouldn’t go away.
My first husband was addicted to sex.
He fucked me all the time and it pained me so much.
Well, the second one was an intellectual
always reading but wanted a big family
so once or twice a month we would have sex
all the while shooting for a baby.
Third one was a slob but abusive, drinks, pees and farts.
That was when I knew I had to go get my women.
See the crux is.
If it is so wrong why then does it feel so damn good to me?
Why am I happy for the first time in my life?”
Oh how awful.
Perhaps you need more prayers,
fast and listen to God.
Why does her skin glow,
blinding my beliefs and my traditions?
Her lips glistening with red lipstick
that is like the insides of her womanhood,
so refreshing and edible.
Why does she have to be so gentle and subtle?

Her stiletto walk makes a sound that directs me to the bedroom
where she lays bare for me to see.

Her perfume lures me.
I lose sense of reality.
This all here is holy.
Where angels refuse to tread
in case they catch site of this and fall into sin.

Is it pure magic, or an illusion?
It is poetry and art.
Skin so pale,
I need to touch it with my lips and gifted hands to breathe
and sink life into it.
Pure bliss.
Words cannot do any justice into this masterpiece.
Head spinning like a top.
I feel my blood clotting
the heart is in joy.
The head comes up with nothing
The eyes bare witness
to one of the most beautiful women
to grace mother earth.

I’ll pray hard.
Live slow.
Maybe repent.
Dance gently.
Meditate.

This is, oh so Godly.
All so lesbian.
and perhaps a sin.
God.
The lesbian
The sin.

I pray
I choose the latter.

by Thulielove Gifted Hands Sodumo

© 20 Aug 2012

 

 

 

 

Previous by Thulielove

 

 

2013 Sept. 11: The touch

and

  2013 June 11: Double Trouble


and

2013 April 3: Reflecting on InterSexions

and

2013 April 4: Gender blind

This entry was posted in African, Another Approach Is Possible, Archived memories, Art Is A Human Right, Art is Queer, Betrayal, Blackness, Body, Breasts, Crea(c)tive senses, creative artist, Creative Writing, Creativity, Lesbian Love Is Possible in South Africa, Lesbian Youth, Matters of the He(Art), Power of the Arts, Power of the Voice, South Africa, Speaking for ourselves, Textualizing Our Own Lives, We Are You, We Care, Wet, Writing is a Right and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to 2013 Nov. 12: God, the lesbian, the sin

  1. TPeachezZ says:

    ….OMW, TOo DAMN GOod, Is All I Can Say 4 Now!

  2. Debora says:

    So so much interesting and its knowledgable, please send to my e-mail deboradlamini1gmail.com really love it.

  3. gugu khumalo says:

    This is a nice honest piece that shows how some of us feel about religion and being gay, how confusing it is when they start judging you forcing you to defend yourslf where else you already know that half of the things they’ve said are true but yet you can’t run away from them cos thats who you are and there’s no changing it no matter how bad people may strongly feel it is… I just LOVE your WORK

  4. Poetic Butterfly says:

    it feels a bit confusing to me though. especially when it come to the conversations. because God says that lesbianism is a demon in you while the Devil agrees to it and condones it. if God loves you as he says he does in his conversations with you, why does he see your love as some demonic possession.. so are you saying that vele homosexuality is all from the evil side of the gods. are we saying that it is the devil that tells us to love other woman while the bible says that we are made in his image? if you had never read what the bible says about homosexuality would you have known that it is a sin, would you have even considered it wrong? the history of homosexuality reveals that homosexuality existed even before the bible and its man written rules existed. nice piece though.

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  9. Tshepang says:

    This is a very intresting site and I would like to get involved…Im a journalism student myself;contemplating my own blog that will cater to Lesbian and Gays only…Please contact me on my email address; tshepangmon@gmail.com.

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