2014 June 16: Ze ungandibizi

by Mandisa ‘Thozie’ Mathe

Uze ungandenzakalisi ngamazwi akho arhabaxa!
Uze ungandibizi ngendoda wakuvukelwa bubu khwenkwe nenzondo
Uze ungandibizi ngendoda wakuvukelwa bubu ndlobongela bakho
Uze ungandibizi ngendoda kub ufuna ukuva ukuba impendulo yam izawuthini na ukuze wena ufumane ukundiphatha-phatha de uyofikelela emazantsi apho ubulindele khona impendulo!

Makuthi wakuvukelwa sisifo sobudoda bakho ukwazi ukuhambisa okwendoda eyindoda ucinge nzulu ngesibeleko sika nina phambi kokuba wenze okumasikizi kum!!!
Kanti uqumbelentoni na usezawu qhamisa wandise nje nawe kwedini uthso ngosapho olufana nam

Wakubona amabele esifubeni sam cinga okwendoda eqotho;
Ungazami nakancinci ukususa isidima nesithunzi sam ngokundi dlwengula ngamazwi akho nangobudoda bakho!!!
Kanti undibuzelani na ukuba kutheni ndinxibisa okwamadoda ekubeni ubona ukuba mna ndindim xa ndinje!

Noko ndilibhinqa kodwa ukudalwa kwam kenje nje ukundikhanyela!
Ukuba ngaba intlungu yakho ikukundibona ndinje nam andithandi ntonayo ndithobela umthetho wendlela emandiphile ngayo!

Kwamna nukuba ndandazile ndingekazalwa ngumama ukuba impilo yam izobanje nge ndaguqa kathathu ndababiza balithoba o-Amen ndimcele uSombawo angayivumeli lento yenzeke dendicele nokufumana umyeni obhetele kunawe oyindoda emadodeni lento inqabileyo namhlanje kude kubhetele nathi esidlala indima yamadoda amadoda ekhono siwabukele elichithachitha ilizwe lika Thixo sijongile!!!

Ngxe ndiselibhinqa noko kwenzeka njalo ndiyayazi indawo yam nokutya kwam lidolo phantsi ndithethe noSomandla wena uyazazi na????
Uze unganibizingendoda kuba ufuna ukuthatha ubumna bam nobu bhinqa bam ngobudoda bakho yiba yindoda emadodeni thethisana nam sibonisane ngezinto ezikukhathazayo ngobumna bam ndizowapholisa lomanxeba ngeempendulo ezimsulwa neziyinyani!
Ungandibizi ngendoda ubona amabele esifubeni sam!!!

Ze ungasibeki isandla sakho kum;
Undikhabe;
Undijije;
Undophule;
Ubusaphaze phantsi ubuchopho bam okwenja ithsyiswe yimoto ndixolele ubeze kuSombawo akandibizi ngendoda ebona amabele esifubeni sam
Uyandixolela naye ngobumna bam
Wathi xa wayehleli kweli uze kuphilisa izigulane kanti wandibona nam
Khumbula ukuba kwahlalwa phantsi kwahlwelwa kwade kwagqitywa ngempilo yam ukuchitha-chitha kwakho ubuchopho bam kuthetha ukuba wena wazi kakhulu kunaloThixo wahlela ubomi bam
Sixolele ke sobabini Mna no Thixo ngobumna bam ze ungandibizi ngendoda kuba ufuna ukundibulala.
Nam ndambuza uThixo ukuba uqinisekile nangam?
Wathi “usengumntwana wam ze ungasiyeki isandla sam nasebunzimeni”
Sixolele ke mna noThixo ze ungandibizi ngendoda xa ubona amabele esifubeni sam!!!!!
Ndoda usezakundi bulala na naxa usiva isikhalo sam?

 

 

Previous by Thozie

2014 April 27: Unanswered questions

This entry was posted in God is with us, LGBTIs in Africa, Life Stories, Readings, Tears, Textualizing Our Own Lives and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to 2014 June 16: Ze ungandibizi

  1. Lee says:

    Yhooo I got chills reading this..Thozie this is a beautiful and touching piece.

  2. Pingback: 2016 Jan. 14: Disowning parents | inkanyiso.org

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