2013 May 20: Faith for Destiny Living

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

when the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

when the funds are low and the debts are high,

and you want to smile, but you have to sigh.

When care is pressuring down a bit,

rest if you must but don’t quit,

Life is queer with its twist and turns,

as every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about when he,

might have won had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –

you may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out –
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell how close you are.

It may be near but it seems so far,

So, stick to the light when you’re hardest hit

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit

Never despair when life seems meaningless,

because the will always be

something to restore your faith in living

Written by my late father – Mr. Samuel “Sweetsam” Legobye on a piece of paper.

I came across lots of piece of papers when I was cleaning and inspecting his wardrobe.
Later I burned them cause we didn’t need them.

But I found this one so interesting and I typed it to keep it for my records.


Previous by Olive
2013 April 10: God did not reject me

Posted on April 25, 2013

 

Posted in Abantu, Activism, Another Approach Is Possible, Articles, As we are, Community Mobilizing, Connections, Contributors, Crea(c)tive senses, Creating awareness, Cultural activists, Death, Interpretation, Johannesburg, Opinion, Our lives in the picture, Portrait | Tagged | Leave a comment

2013 May 25: At Lele & Vinny’s wedding party

abantu_3312

maroro Kortes & lesego_3289

lebo da swag_3291
tongue & cheek_3313

love is_3306

shadi & buli_3293

mpho & ndumi_3277

Rocky & Msaai_3272

phumla & friend_3273

Akhona Anele & Tumi_3258

gurlz_3278

khanyi & lover_3296

K & Deli_3262

abantu abahle_3300

Deli & K_3265

sweeto_3279

 

Posted in Another Approach Is Possible, Archived memories, Art Activism in South Africa, As we are, Photo album, Portrait, Power of the Voice, South African Black Female Photographers | Tagged | 8 Comments

2013 May 20 : Intellectual lesbians

by Jamilla Madingwane

It was not until I had to write this article that intellect became a very complex theme for me. I tried to break it down cognitively and artistically and I realised that intellect is a multi-dimensional, philosophical term on its own; because first and for most, what does it mean to be an intellect?
How does one tell intellects apart from non intellects?
At what point can one be labelled an intellect?

I was so keen to write this article, my first thoughts were:
“I’m going to interview all the educated lesbians I know.”
They are educated right?
So this means they are very intellectual people. As I jotted my questions down on all that I needed them to answer a voice echoed inside me like a little child and reminded me that I’m confusing intelligence with education. Confusing?
I ignored the voice and continued typing my questions down frantically, the voice still echoed and said: “but you do know this, not all educated people are intellects.”

It was at this point that I remembered educationalist like Howard Gardner. He looked at the human species and concluded that people have different types of intelligences, (he didn’t say they have to be educated) he broke them into nine:

*  The logical – mathematical (deals with reasoning and numbers)

*  The spatial (ability to visualise with the mind’s eye)

*  The linguistic (deals with language and words)

*  The bodily – kinaesthetic
(deals with the physical control of the body’s emotions)

*  The musical (sensitivity to sound and rhythm)

*  Interpersonal (interaction with others)

*  Intrapersonal (self-reflective capacities)

*  Existential ( spiritual or religious intelligence)

Now I am trying as much as I can to take an objective view on this topic. Looking at all these kinds of intelligences, I conclude by saying:
“lesbian people are the most intelligent people I know.”
I will make one point of reference to back this statement up. I met two lesbians in Durban about two years ago (and education has nothing to do with this, they did not get University education). They were both waitresses, they were so good with maths it was unbelievable, their imaginations expanded beyond the obvious, they were artists, which meant they were linguistically inclined, one was also a dancer, they sensed rhythm, had good interactions with others and could self-reflect and they had their own views and philosophies about religion and spirituality. One does not get more intelligent than that.

I once had a person who said to me: “you are too intelligent to be a lesbian.” You can have everything going right for you. You can get a handsome educated husband and raise intellectual kids.” I looked at them from the side frames of my eye glasses and said: “I am too intelligent, that’s why I am a lesbian.”
See, lesbians have personality, they have character, they are those people that would write poems that can move the world, take pictures that tell multiple stories of Africa, sing notes that mirror the world as a whole.
Albert Einstein said “we should take care not to make the intellect our God; it has of course powerful muscles but no personality.” And D.T Suzuki said “let intellect alone, it has its usefulness in its proper sphere but let it not interfere with a flowing of the life stream.”

On this note I asked one lesbian woman what it means for her to be an intellectual lesbian, she said that for her it means being intelligent enough not to conform to the indoctrinations of the world. It means crafting her own destiny, it means being intelligent enough to know that love does not come in the form of genitals one have but it comes in spirit. For her, she regards herself as intelligent because she is educated and talented but her life is a stream that flows on its own and her eyes are blind to gender, her mind is open to endless possibilities.
She referred to her mind as a universe crafted inside her skull and she asked me: “do you see the beauty of it, can you imagine endless horizons, twinkling stars, galaxies, shooting meteors, planets, all in my mind?
Now that’s why I am an intellectual lesbian.” I looked at her with a smile shimmering in the corners of my mouth because I knew that her mind was crafted as mine, just as she described it.

All the intellectual lesbians I spoke to said one thing in common.
“We are not trying to be men, (and men were known to be the most intellectual, invented things came up with theories after theories, and women were silences), the world has us confused and they do not even take time to try and get to know us, undo the misconceptions they have. We were not abused or hurt by any male figure; we are not men in women’s bodies”.

This topic can be explored in a lot of ways, there is a lot to be said but in my own view it comes down to this: “lesbians are humans beings with character and we all know that character is higher than intellect, a great soul will be strong to live as well as think.”
Lesbians are also the strongest people I know; they still walk with their heads held up high everyday knowing that the world shuns them. They wait for harsh words, punches, stone and even bullets to be thrown at them by the world as they justified that with the book of Leviticus in the bible, still they live on.

I am an intellectual lesbian, a person who lives a life of the mind. I pursue knowledge for its own sake. I have a natural curiosity.
What do you expect?
My mind is as colourful as a rainbow, it hopes and yearns, and it’s flooded with rains of imagination. The rainbow is painted but Mother Nature herself as a promise that there will be no floods no more, so how could I go wrong under the rainbow flag? I am an intellectual lesbian and there are many more others where I come from and this time we are not hiding it from anyone. We are made of fire, air, earth and water; it does not get more intellectual than this.

About the author

Jamilla's portrait by Collen Mfazwe (19.05.2013)

Jamilla’s portrait by Collen Mfazwe (19.05.2013)

Jamilla is a feminist, writer, poet and university student.

Posted in Africa, Allies, Another Approach Is Possible, Art Activism in South Africa, Arts, As we are, Before You, Books, Collaborations, Community, Feminism, Intellectualism, Networking, Opinion, Our lives in the picture, Poetry, Power of the Voice, Professionals, ReClaim Your Activism, Records and histories, Relationships, revolution, Visual history, Visual history is a Right not a luxury, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures, Youth voices | Tagged | 7 Comments

2013 May 11: My last hour


2013 May 11:  My last hour

Photo album
@ Limpopo Pride (after march at the cricket club).  Polokwane.
by Zanele Muholi (2013.05.11)

3 friends_2231
4 friends_2228

beauty1_2269

btw friends_2227

btw friends_2262

butch fair_2300

butch honeys_2295

butches pose _2297

butches_2210

divine_2245

femme gay _2308 femmes_2285

friends 3 _2287
friends 3_2288

friends first_2239

friends first_2279

friends first_2281

friends_2267

general musician_2238
gurrrrlz_2275

handsum s_2301

inkanyiso team & friends_2236
iskhesane_2304

lovers_2294
lovies_2291

muholi & divine_2249

oh love_2268

pic 10_2256

pic1_2202

pic3_2206

pic5_2212
pic6_2216
pic7_2218

pic8 _2242
pic9 _2244
rama_2310
stole & girlfriend_2261

stripe butch_2299

stripe tshirt_2258
stripes 1_2259
univ students_2309

univ1_2257

ycer & friend_2233
ycer & friends_2232

 

Posted in Activism, Art Solidarity, As we are, Before You, Betrayal, Community, Community Mobilizing, Crea(c)tive senses, Creating awareness, Documentation; Filming; Photography; Community, Education, Exposure, Expression, Give credits where it is due, Inkanyiso media, Lack of Resources, Lesbian Love Is Possible in South Africa, Limpopo Proudly Out LGBTI, Limpopo province, Power of the Voice, Professional black lesbians in South Africa, Queer Edutainment, ReClaim Your Activism, revolution, SA mainstream media, South African Black Female Photographers, Visual history, Visual history is a Right not a luxury, We Still Can with/out Resources, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures, Zanele Muholi | 1 Comment

2013 May 3 & 4: Beautiful Women base Gcuwa

2013 May 3 & 4:  Beautiful Women base Gcuwa

L-R: Ntando; Charmain; Nomonde & Steshy.
Some members of Gcuwa lesbian group handing over umnikelo to Inkanyiso crew.
Our first (thank you) gift ever … from the community we served.

Photos by Collen Mfazwe

beauties_1230

butches 1_1326

collen & friend_1300

couple1_1092

DJ _1124

friends first_1225

friends_1126

friends_1148

friends2_1156

gcuwa crew_1167

izandla zakhe_1177

kopano & friend_1083

kopano s friends_1250

kopano s friends_1254

ntando & friend_1314

ntando charmain mo & steshy_1272

ntando_1197

orange1_1091

steshy & friend_1221

steshy & friends_1242

steshy3_1224

umnikelo_1267

zimbi_1061

Posted in Eastern Cape, Family, Friendships, Records and histories, Relationships, revolution, Visual history, Visual history is a Right not a luxury, Visualizing public spaces | Tagged | 7 Comments

2013 May 21: Lesbians in the defence force

by Clear Peaceful Mind

Drop down and lick me 20…

🙂  One of my many fantasies regarding ladies in uniform:  A spotless white navy uniform, on a petite well manicured marines officer. Hair carefully tucked beneath the cap with tiny curls escaping, caught in a gentle breeze.

Slightly ruffled up camouflaged pants, short sleeved, well fitting slate grey T-Shirt, showing well built tanned biceps and triceps on a smooth well cared for dirt kissed feminine skin. Tiny beads of sweat swelling up with anticipation before trickling slowly down the sides of her face shying away from her lips, seeking refuge on her firm yet gentle chin.

Blue SAPS uniform, outlining a gentle yet firm body, pistol holster hugging firmly yet teasingly sensual around the thigh…

We all have our varying weaknesses when it comes to ladies in uniform. That particular weakness that keeps you wide awake at night with wild fantasies beyond imagination.

Mine comes with a phrase “I am gay, and I am here to protect you”.

I live in Germiston, one of the small cities surrounding Johannesburg. Crime is there, theft, drug dealings, rape, occasional house breaks etc. like everywhere else in this country and it is to a certain extent controlled like everywhere else. Every now and then I see the blue flashes of a Police Van, and I know that if the need arises, help may not be that far. Like any other person, I sometimes find myself bending a few traffic rules and becoming really irritated, not at myself though but at the Traffic Officers when those fines start coming in.

All in all, even though we hardly ever give it much thought, let alone show some gratitude, we’re safe because of our country’s armed forces, be it the police, traffic officers and the defense force in general…

However, have you ever given thought as to how its like being a lesbian and employed in these previously men infested departments, not that being gay would make much of a difference…

How it feels like to be Out Of The Closet And Thrown On To The Battlefield.

As much as we are all equal before our legislation and our basic conditions of employment tend to be the same, as soon as it is known that you belong to the gay community, attitudes change and you become a well labeled brand of human species. All of a sudden training, work schedules, assignments change. Chances of losing your credentials increase. All of a sudden your sexuality develops a direct impact on your abilities as a person and your work performance become directly linked to that as well.

Lima Echo Sierra Bravo India Alpha November Sierra – interesting code.
*Imagining how a GI would have said it alerting other male GI’s*

Drop down and lick give me 20. How many lesbians have suffered that derogatory attitude. Being pushed to work harder than anyone else because there is all of a sudden a need to separate “men” from women. How many of them as soon as it was discovered that they are gay were raped to cure them of the “disease”
[March 13, 2013 PBS News Hour. Women in combat zones are more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than killed by the enemy …]

Previous articles by Clear Peaceful Mind

2013 May 12: Happy Mother’s Day is NOT for everyone

and

2013 April 13: Reasons why we as lesbians (not all lesbians) shun +HIV people…

Posted in As we are, Before You, Black Lesbians, Clear Peaceful Mind, Comment, Community, Crime rate, Exposure, Expression, Gender naming, GI, Our lives in the picture, Power of the Voice, Professionals, SAPS, South Africa, Traffic officers, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources | Tagged , | 1 Comment

2013 May 20: Nqobile Zungu & Collen Mfazwe’s album

2013 May 20:  Nqobile Zungu & Collen Mfazwe's album

… Nqobile’s portrait by Collen Mfazwe (19/05/2013). White City, Soweto.

our daughter_0958

Mimi’s daughter playing with stones.
Photo by Nqobile Zungu (19/05/2013). White City, Soweto.

neighbour_0882

A boy from the neighbor, photo by Nqobile Zungu. (19/05/2013). White City, Soweto.

mimi in da pic_1018

Mimi during interview seen through the Canon 60D lcd screen. Photo by Nqobile Zungu. (19/05/2013). White City, Soweto.

mimi & daughter_0978

Mimi & daughter at home.
Photo by Nqobile Zungu. (19/05/2013). White City, Soweto.

jade1_1049

Close up portrait of Jade.
Photo by Collen Mfazwe. (19/05/2013). White City, Soweto.

jade_1022

Jade browsing through facebook.
Photo by Nqobile Zungu. (19/05/2013). White City, Soweto.

crew @home_0602

Some of Inkanyiso members at the black lesbian home.
Photo by Collen Mfazwe. (18/05/2013). Parktown.

boy children_0890

Boys from the hood peeping through the fence.
Photo by Nqobile Zungu. (19/05/2013). White City, Soweto.

Posted in Another Approach Is Possible, Archived memories, Art Activism in South Africa, Arts, As we are, Before You, Connections, Crea(c)tive senses, Documentation; Filming; Photography; Community, Exposure, Photo album, Power of the Voice, revolution, Visual history is a Right not a luxury, Visualizing public spaces | Tagged | 6 Comments

2013 May 12: Our mothers whose he(arts) are dear to us

Lynne Carrol Born in the 90’s

Mothers are pillars of our society and they are a long way from being powerless. They are viewed as weakly beings who need men to help them with everything.

Mothers are strong, Strong willed, independent, and self sufficient. Now, these words describe the woman who is raising me. The woman  I am talking about is not only a mother to me but she is my Father, my sister, my teacher,my brother and my friend. My mother inspires me in many levels. She had me when she was 18 years. Lost her father while she was pregnant with me and was disowned by her mother for being pregnant with me. Now, most people would have given up hope, but not my mom. She stayed strong, carried on with school and worked at the same time.

Now having a mother that you practically grow up with gets hard sometimes. She is a working mother and we don’t get to spend as much time together as I would like us to, but as I grow up I understand everything she has done is for me.

Having Charmain as mother has taught me to always believe in myself and to never give up no matter what the challenges. She has taught me to never give up until I have achieved my goals.

She is passionate, forgiving, loving, stubborn, strong willed and determined.

Charmain is lesbian, single parent and I lover her.

Lerato Dumse born in the 80′s

In 1988 Bukelwa Dumse was a 23year old mother of two kids under the age of one .The 80s state of emergency disrupted schools and she had not completed her matric.

When I count my blessings, having my mother in my life is top of the list. Firstly I’m thankful for her optimism and attitude of always seeing the glass as half full. This gave her the strength and courage to go back to school full time and get her matric at the age of 27. Her resilience and can do attitude, allows her to raise two kids as a single unemployed mother. She is loving and caring,has brought strangers who are stranded home then helps them find their way home.   She motivates me to take care of myself, so I can age as beautifully as she is. I realize how blessed I am, to still have the opportunity to call or give my mom a hug on mothers day.

Collen Mfazwe born in the 80’s

I am Collen Mfazwe, 25 years old, from Daveyton. I love reading, music, cooking not forgeting taking pictures. You can call me cameraman, camerawomen or even photographer.  As long as I have pictures, life goes on. My mom, the rock.  It might sound crazy to you but it makes sense to me, because she’s my rock. She managed to carry me for nine months and raised six of us alone without our  “father”.  My rock was a mother, father, sister, friend, anything good you can think of. She’s not from a wealthy family. At the time that  I was born her granny kicked her out and her mom was married to another man so, she couldn’t  go and stay with her and was not  even raised by  her. She took us to rent in someone’s house.  She would go and look for work to make living a for us. Then she found a job and things started to get better for us. She would keep us warm all the time, she was earning minimum wage but she would always  make sure that we were clean and fed everyday. She was very brave and strong and she wanted to see us happy all the time. I remember this one time she saw kids who were selling steelwool on the street and she called them and asked questions. Later she went with them to meet their families and bought clothes for them and she would say “Isandla esiphayo sibusiseke ukundlula esamkelayo” meaning the more u give the more u receive blessings.  She was very kind, caring, lovely and down to earth. She was a very independent woman and she was living for her kids. She taught us how to be independent as well and taught us to always take care of each other  no matter how painful or hard the situation was. She taught us to stand by each other.  Even though she has passed on we are still doing exactly that.

I’m more like my mom.

She succumbed to the illness. She did not know that she was sick but kept pushing, working for us, providing for us. She did not want to leave us alone with nothing and worked hard because she wanted to leave us in our own home.

My mother passed on, on the 29th of March 2005, two weeks after my birth day. I was broken, I could not believe it ,we were heartbroken and worried about who would be there for us now that our mother was gone.

She’s the one who taught me “ubuhle bomuntu ukuzithanda kwakhe” not expensive clothes and to always pay respect to my elders.

Lorrain Mfazwe was everything to her children and her passing was a shock.  May her soul rest in peace.

Charmain Carrol born in the 70’s

Its 12th of May mothers day tomorrow. I can’t seem to stop thinking about my mothers. I am who I am today because of them. I never had a simple childhood. I grew up in 3 provinces. I used to see my mother once a year and that was Christmas eve when she brought us our Christmas clothes and lots of groceries for Christmas.

My granny was my everything. She gave me the foundation of life. My granny taught me to be a true xhosa woman. I grew up different so my granny always protected me and told me to always be strong. I never knew what she meant until I was in challenges where I had to be strong.

Now having these 2 strong powerful women in my life, who both played major roles in my upbringing and shaping the person that I am today. I cherish and love them still till today, their memory still lives on.

Wendy Nomthendeleko (nomlocks)Carrol was a self taught business women, who started selling second hand clothes on the streets of Lusikisiki. Later, she saved up money to own a super market right across the street, where she sold clothes. She defied the rules of her culture ( a women can’t buy a house on her own she needs a man to head it) but she didn’t need a man she was a man herself she would say.

She passed on in 2005.

Jane mamBokazi Ngqu

From a young age, I had never really seen my grandfather around, he lived with his second wife. My granny used to make clay beer pots (inqayi) and grass mats (izicamba nezithebe, nengobozi) and sold them to make ends meet. There was never a day that we slept hungry. She was one strong woman, who had 15 children and lost 11 of her children but still found a way to carry on. The last child she buried was my mother who passed on in 2008.

By

Lynne Carrol

Lerato Dumse

Collen mfazwe

Charmain Carrol

Posted in Hope, Interpretation, Life Stories, Love, Maternal love, Mother s Day, Our lives in the picture, Relationships, South Africa, Visual history, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures, Youth voices | 2 Comments

2013 May 16: Sex

It’s funny

 its always strange

When people look at me and get shocked

When they find out that I masturbate

You see they say butch/tom lesbians don’t masturbate

Because apparently most of us don’t like being touched

Well I’m not that kind of lesbian

Actually I’m not that kind of woman

I masturbate

And if I lived on my own it would be included in my daily routine

Because how else am I going know myself

How else will I know you?

I’m the kind of woman that is not a fan of watching porn

And if I do it must get straight to the point

I don’t give a shit about the storyline

I actually get off easy by reading

I like reading porn

The story always makes me anxious as if I was there

As a fly on the wall

The internet has so many of these stories

Woman on woman

My first time with her

When she touched me

When I came

When she pulled out a toy

My first toy experience

These titles are endless…and the stories excite me

I love the descriptions of some of these stories

And by the time I get to the conclusion I’ve already got my eyes closed

Creating my own introduction

I’ve had more orgasms with my thoughts

Then I have had physically

Because you see my thoughts take me to faraway places

Places where gravity doesn’t exist

Where I’m fucking on a cloud

Fucking in the night sky

Grabbing stars to hold back my quivering

I’ve fucked in places I’ve never been

London

Nigeria

Jamaica

Brazil

New York

Bali

India

My list is endless

Sometimes in my mind I rewind to the things that I have done

The bathroom

The wardrobe

The kitchen

Its floor

The nunnery, don’t ask me

I think about the peaks of my sex life

Where I slept with women and had no conversation

Women that only used their eyes to have me

Woman that wanted to know more than meets the eye

Women that wanted to be held after

Women that passed out as soon as they came

Women that came with waterfalls

Women that screamed loudly

Women that moaned gently

I’m talking about women that have dominated me

Women that never gave me a chance to be on top

Kinky women

Women that made me quickly take water breaks

Damn I have gone to places

Not only in my mind

You see I love sex

I love the word vagina

I love the word pussy too

I love shy women

That beat around the bush

I love straightforward women

That ask for what they want

In fact take it without asking

I love women that are not afraid to masturbate in front of me

You see another thing about me

Is that I’m the type of woman that

Likes to look

I want to see the journey

I don’t want to find myself at the end

I love looking

Licking

Touching

Feeling

Tasting

Smelling

Explaining

And by that I mean telling you how you look like so

I don’t mind if you say it’s weird

I can be in between your knees for minutes

Just taking in the aroma of your flower

I’ll use words like

Beautiful

Delicate

Interesting

Wild

Wet

Sexy

I’ll even place it in a different angle just to see it differently

And start describing it again

I’ll use words like

Innocent

Bitter/sweet

Pink

Wet

Amazing

You see I’m the kind of person that is very comfortable

With the topic of sex

I am a butch lesbian

That shaves her vagina

Sometimes I trim it down

That all depends on my mood that day

I like being kissed on the neck

I like being teased

I like being taken…touched

I like being scratched

I am a butch lesbian

That loves to go down

I love touching, kissing necks

Breasts, waists

I love ass

I love the female body

I love its stretch marks

Its dimples

I love its smoothness

I love its bumps

I love its curves

I love every woman that embraces it

And looks at themselves and

Says that they are beautiful

Because I am a butch lesbian

That looks at herself and thinks

My gosh I’m a beautiful woman.

by Andiswa Dlamini
© 2013

___________________________________________
Previous by Andiswa

2013 May 3: I resent you

and

2013 Feb. 10: Parts

Posted in Lesbian Love Is Possible in South Africa, Readings, Records and histories, Relationships, South Africa, Women who have sex with Women, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures | Tagged | 28 Comments