by Ntsiki Cassandra Dlamini on Friday, 14 May 2010 at 10:53 ·
I may not be Picture Perfect
but I’ve been given the greatest gifts of life.
My beauty may not be what the media expects,
but I am my own beauty.
I may not have the body of a model,
but I have a body to thank GOD for.
I may not have the perfect teeth or a million dollar smile,
but I have a warm smile.
I may have a twist in my hair,
but I have hair that can tell my kind, which is my own kind.
I may not seen intelligent, but don’t be fooled, what makes my own perfect?
It is the fact that
I have a face that can tell a story and doesn’t need the media’s approval.
I have a body that can move to that beat of life.
I have teeth that allow me a perfect smile.
I have hair that blows to the energy of life.
I am intelligent because I can tell right from wrong,
and a big thanks for my kindness and talents.
Without my perfect gift GOD!
I wouldn’t be MY OWN PERFECT!!!
Amour
I’m on the edge of the bed, I realise I haven’t uttered a word to you, I haven’t said goodnight, nor gave you a kiss. It’s been a long day for me, for you.
I begin to unfold the events of the day, the good ones and the bad ones.
I missed you, I longed for you, and I felt sadness shatter my collar bone, what could be wrong.
You see life is strange, with its fair share of confusion and misunderstandings; you try to see right from wrong, left and right, up and down, which way is good for me, which way is safe for me,for everyone.
I begin to think about what lies ahead, all that awaits me, all that is destined for me, could this really be the path I was born to follow, could this be the key to the happiness?
I wonder if I prepared for this journey, I wonder if its all worth it, but with life you never know. I see you resting so peacefully, your head is carefully placed on the pillow, how ironic, you’re not fond of pillows, but your exhaustion is beyond minding a pillow.
These are the moments when I truly see your beauty, the hidden smiles emerging from your sleep, I smile as well, the realisation, that you’re the only one who understands my tru nature, beyond anyone could ever imagine, the only one who understands my rage.
I turn to place to a blanket on you, it hits me, its not about our sexuality anymore, not about our cultures, our values, morals and ethics, family and friends, it is what is was meant to be; love, that’s all it ever was, love, and that is all it will ever be.
Hello, my name is Zandile, and I am in love with a woman.
____________________________________
About the author
Zandile is an Accounting student at University of Johanneburg.
She is an avid writer and a lover.
by Lesego Tlhwale
“Lesbians who like to use strap-on dildos, secretly sleeps with man!”
This kind of statement I hear frequently in black lesbian spaces, when they talk about sex. So yesterday while we were having a meeting with a group of black lesbians, talking about business ventures and other things, I saw an opportunity to ask a group of intelligent young black lesbian women a question most do not want to be asked.
dada, 2003. (c) Zanele Muholi
first published in Only half the Picture (2006)
The question I asked was, what were their thoughts on lesbians who use strap-ons to have sex with their partners? Everyone was dazed by my question which came unexpectedly, but I had to ask it because I was curious what their thoughts were on the subject of sex toys.
After asking the question, I broke the ice by telling them that my partner and I use sex toys and that we both enjoy them, and see nothing wrong with them. Then I asked everyone to share their views and whether they also use sex toys with their partners. I must say I did not expect the response I got from the group.
I was surprise by the openness and sharing the group had with their sexual preference and desires. I have been in a lot of black lesbian spaces where no one would admit openly to using sex toys. In fact many lesbians I know would not even suggest the idea of using toys to their partners or friends.
If you do admit to using toys; trust me, you are going to be judged and labeled as being a ‘fake’, ‘bisexual’ or even ‘confused’ lesbian who secretly sleeps with men.
Yes, some lesbians do have that misconception about lesbians who want or are already using a strap-on. They turn to judge them, and make them feel embarrassed for wanting to use sex toys.
I mean it is bad enough we have to deal with some straight people who feel lesbians who use and find pleasure in a strap-on are secretly longing for men, but to have fellow lesbians who also fuel the same stereotype and pass judgments to those who are open to sexual variation is appalling.
The fact that I am a lesbian does not mean I find the sensation of something penetrating my vagina unpleasant; I am a woman after all and believe in being pleased in any way possible by the woman I love. My desire to penetrate my partner with a strap-on is also not an attempt to emulate heterosexual sex; I just like the pleasure I get from it.
I know most lesbians only want to hear each other talk about how they muff their partners till they run dry! How their fingers can please a girl better than a man can! And how fuckin’ great the scissor position is! I will not deny, I also love these positions, but they are not all there is to please a lesbian woman.
Some lesbians enjoy penetration, not because they are longing for cocks; they are just exploring every sexual pleasure that is out there.
For me, using sex toys is about intimacy and pleasure; it’s not about secretly wanting a man. And besides, a dildo is not a man; it’s a fantastic toy….
About the author:
Lesego featuring in Faces & Phases (2012)
Lesego is a writer, an activist, a lover, a friend, a mother to five cats and an aspiring sex expert and teacher.
by Ntsiki Cassie Dlamini
About the author:
As she featured in Faces & Phases (2012)
Ntsiki Cassie Dlamini is a young beautiful South African proud lesbian woman, activist.
She’s from a small town, Pietermaritzburg. Studied Arts & Drama at University of KwaZulu Natal (UKZN). In 2006, she volunteered at the Gay & Lesbian Network as a health counsellor, and facilitator. She also participated in the Rainbow Theatre Company, a drama group that showcase the difficulties that same gender loving persons are facing on daily basis.
She is a writer and spend most of her spare time writing.
We were 11, met to discuss and share our creative works. We were all happy and left the place revived.
Watch out this space and see what artivists are doing …
L-R: Nqobile, Charmain, Kopano, MaZet, Baitiri, Lesego, Rene, Maureen, Muholi, Noluntu and Andy
In loving memory of Anene Booysen (17) who was brutally murdered in Bredasdorp.
an activist dressed up the statue of Gandhi at the Joburg CBD whilst the other one looked on
As I drove passed Ghandi Square at the Joburg CBD I saw a small group of activists who braved the heavy rain wearing purple t-shirts and other clothing. One could see that most people had their struggle tees but took them off cos they were soaking wet. I slowed down the car on the roadside to get a clear view and listen. Although I could not get out of the car because the rain poured.
gandhi dressed in purple
The poster with the photo of Anene hung on the streetlight post, below that were white candles. I immediately recognized the article that featured in the Star newspaper of the 8th February 2013. According to the article she was gang raped, brutally mutilated on Friday night and later died in hospital on Saturday, 1st February 2013. She was only 17 years old. The same age of my daughter who just celebrated her birthday three days ago.
That brought sadness into my life as I can’t imagine life without her let alone leave her out my sight.
We, as parents try to keep our children safe but when such brutality still continues to happen right in front of our eyes by people we know is heartbreaking.
Luckily Anene was able to identify her attackers before her death.
May her Soul rest in peace.
by Rene Mathibe
“Affliction I” 2012 Digital Print 42cmx 59.4cm
“Affliction II” 2012 Digital Print 42cmx 59.4cm
“Bondage I” 2010 Charcoal on paper 94cm x66 cm
“The Ecstacy” Acrylic on canvas 122cm x 152cm.
“The sacrifice” Acrylic on canvas 140cmx 170cm
“The power of the image lies in the fact that we [women] are not made to witness the display but are, rather, involved in the process through which identity is formed”
(Nead 1992:81)
Drawing/Photography
Women have the power over their bodies and my work tries to undermine the historical representation of the female nude.The female body/ flesh sensitive giving a sense of sensuality, touch and intimacy between two women in a relationship. The idea of pain felt by most lesbians due to discrimination and hate crimes is an occurring theme in my work. This pain or discomfort is juxtaposed with the soft and sensitive flesh.
Painting
The work that I create deals with issues around the prejudiced attitude of the Church and society towards homosexuals. Through personal experience, I have become conscious of the prejudiced and negative attitudes possessed by the church I was brought up in. As Christian traditions do not accommodate my identity as a lesbian I find it difficult to accept my Christian upbringing and the work that I have done this year deals with my conflicting relationship with the church.
Themes such as sexuality, pain, ecstasy and love are portrayed in my painting and drawings. I look at religion, specifically Christianity, and how it constrains my sexuality.
I use my body in the work I make because I am dealing with very personal context.
I also use my body to reclaim the black female body that has been objectified in visual representations. The history of the black female body is rooted in representation of stereotypes and discrimination. I reference Biblical imagery from in Baroque and Renaissance paintings. I then superimpose my body into the images.
By doing this, I am able to change and construct my own meaning and understanding to my work.
The meaning is related to my personal experience of homophobic and prejudice in the church. The works not only comment on the emotional violence and suffering caused by the church but also refer to overcoming that pain through love and acceptance for who I am.
Bio
Reneilwe (Rene) Mathibe is painter and writer living and working in Johannesburg.
She was born in 1989 North West Province, Rusternburg.
She completed her B-Tech Degree in Visual Arts at the University of Johannesburg with painting as a major.
Mathibe currently works as drawing and concept development facilitator at Artist Proof Studio.
Recent group exhibitions include Women’s Journey, Limpopo; Coming of age: 21 years of Artist Proof, Johannesburg and Images of Women, Johannesburg.
Her work focuses and examines the constraints faced by most black lesbians in South Africa.
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