2014 Aug. 9: “I am not a lesbian by choice”

‪ My name is Sphiwe Sesana Mbatha. I am a very funny person, I love people and I love happy endings. I am a very dedicated when it comes to work, and I’m a fast learner too.
I am ambitious and always ready to face the challenges that come my way. I was born at Boksburg Hospital on the 14th November 1992.

Simphiwe Mbatha, August House, Johannesburg, 2012

Simphiwe Mbatha, August House, Johannesburg, 2012

At home we speak isiZulu and I can also speak Sotho, English and a bit of Xhosa. I have a mother and a father and I have a little brother.
I live in Daveyton, with my grandmother, four aunts, five siblings, two uncles, and my mother. However my mother is always away because of her work.

I am unemployed, I am still hustling for a job. I went to Intuthuko day care centre, and a year after I started school at Kuzimisela Primary School, from standard one until standard five.
I enjoyed my primary school because I was active in sports especially in soccer and athletics. My grandmother had a small business, selling beers at home in order for us to survive. My father deserted me, he refused to take responsibility.

In 2006 I went to study at H.B Nyathi Secondary School from standard 6 until standard 10. I passed my matric with symbol B and went to further my studies at MSC Business College.
I was studying (IT) Information Technology but I had to drop out because of financial problems at home.

I want to be an IT Specialist, I would love to go back to college and finish up my course. I want to improve technology all over the world. I want to make world a better place, turn negative situations into positives. I like playing soccer and dancing.
I am a proud lesbian woman and I identify myself as a woman who is sexually and physically attracted to same sex gender. In 2012 I entered Mr and Mrs Lesbian Uthingo, Daveyton and I was the 1st prince.

In 2013 I entered Mr Lesbian Daveyton and I took a second prince position. I am a butch and masculine. I am not a lesbian by choice, it is because I am attracted to other women.
Being lesbian means a lot to me, especially being in an open closet, some lesbians who are in the closet wish to be like me.
They wish to have freedom like me, but they cant because of their families. I love the fact that as a lesbian couple, you get to talk about everything in your relationship because, you both females and you understand each other.

I won’t say my family is happy or sad about me being lesbian, they accepted me and they never gave me problems about my sexuality. I grew up mostly with boys, acting boyish since I was young and I never loved girls’ clothes.

I can say I was an open book since I was young. I’m in a relationship with a female, my family is still not aware about our relationship because its still early days and we not staying together, she lives with her family and I live with mine.
We are willing to make things work between us because she makes me happy. We all deserve to be loved and everyone deserves to be happy.
Last year September I dated a girl from Soweto, it was a long distance relationship and then early February I found the girl I loved for a very long time.
We got in a relationship and I decided to end the other relationship with the Soweto girl. After a few days the Soweto girl started stalking us, insulting us on facebook, smsses, whatsapp even calling us ten times a day just to insult us.
When she heard that we broke up, she was the first to celebrate. She’s making my life a living hell because she’s still insulting me, my family and friends especially my mom and grandmom.

I don’t know why she’s involving my family and friends. Everyday I receive 18 massages from her insulting me and my family and she makes sure my relationships don’t last.
This girl is making my life miserable.

We cannot stop hate crimes but we can prevent it. We have to educate people about the lgbti community and make them see that we are also people and we deserve to be treated like human beings.
If I were to be a leader or tv presenter I would focus on talking about traditional norms that we have to break because other lgbti people cannot follow them.
I will also focus on Gender Based Violence (GBV). I would like to go back to school, finish my IT course, graduate, and have a well paying job.

I would use the chance wisely so that I can benefit in future. The true meaning of my identity means being a daughter to my mom and a sister to my brother. I was once attacked by a group of boys.
I was coming from the shops around 8pm, they hit me with a iron on my left knee, searched my pockets and took my new phone, before they left one of the guys said ”stabane ndini uzofa mawungazibhekanga” I was shocked and scared to tell my parents.
From that day I learnt to be very careful because bad luck has its ways to come.

Being part of Faces & Phases is a great experience. I remember my friend took me to Zanele Muholi’s exhibition and I loved her work. I then told my friend that I would also love to be part of the project. Muholi took us for a photo shoot and I enjoyed every minute of it. I felt like a star and I was happy to be given the opportunity because I love being a model.
I enjoy working with Muholi, she’s caring and I respect her so much. I thank her for giving me such a great opportunity to make something for my life as a young female lesbian.



Previous life stories


2014 July 26: “I was born this way and I cannot change the skin that I live in”


2014 June 25: I consider myself beautiful not handsome…


2014 May 24: The special boy


2014 May 7: I don’t like being identified in terms and definitions


2014 May 18: Behind the beautiful face you see is a lesbian who is torn into a million pieces


2014 May 30: I was a boy who would one day grow up to be a man


2013 Oct. 22: I thought university was for the rich


2013 Oct. 16: I am a beautiful young dyke, a woman lover


2013 Oct. 12: I just feel she deserves much better


2013 Oct. 2: I am a normal transgender woman’


2013 Aug. 22: Am exactly where I’m supposed to be


2013 July 15: The virus has become a silent relative


2013 June 27: Who I Am


2013 March 10: “I love women and they love me”


2013 February 28: I am not a Victim but a Victor





This entry was posted in (IT) Information Technology, 1992 November 14, Daveyton, English and Xhosa, Gender Based Violence (GBV)., Kuzimisela Primary School, Mr Lesbian Daveyton, Silence, South Africa, Speaking for ourselves, Sphiwe Sesana Mbatha, Struggling, Style, Stylish, Support, Supporting each other, Survivor, Teaching, Textualizing Our Own Lives, Together we can, Visual activism, Visual activism is a language, Visual Activist, Visual democracy, Visual history, Visual history is a Right not a luxury, Visual Language, Visual narratives, Visual Power, Visual sense, Visual Voices, Visualizing public spaces, We Are You, We Care, We Love Photography, We Still Can with/out Resources, We were (t)here, What black lesbian youth wants, When Love is a Human Right, Woman, Women's power, Women's Work, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures, Womenonwomen, Words, Writing is a Right, Xhosa is a South African language, Young black female photographers, Young Black Women and Photography, Young talent, Young Women and Visual Activism, Youth voices, Zulu is a language. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to 2014 Aug. 9: “I am not a lesbian by choice”

  1. Pingback: My Homepage

  2. Pingback: www.youtube.com/watch?v=frXeXLbT6Cc

  3. Pingback: 2014 Aug. 30: I’m a game changer, leader and activist | inkanyiso.org

  4. tshwaro says:

    Thank you as always for the job that you do and the love that you share for us and amongst us,I am grateful to be able to read your stories whenever I get the chance

  5. Pingback: 2014 Sept. 24: “At times I’d get jealous thinking she was taking my place” | inkanyiso.org

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