2013 March 8: Public Event announcement

Posted on March 8, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

Inkanyiso, in association with the Goethe Institute, presents @ 25, an event to commemorate the lives of Buhle Msibi (1981 – 2006) and Busi Sigasa (1981 – 2007), black lesbian cultural activists, who both passed away at the tender age of 25.

Buhle Msibi (2005) Photo by Zanele Muholi

Buhle Msibi (2005)
Photo by Zanele Muholi

Buhle was a proud lesbian mother, poet and writer, as well as actress, singer and lyricist who was involved in every aspect of the work of Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW) from the early stages. She was a leading member of the SAfroDykes, the FEW performing group, for which she wrote, directed and performed in, a number of dramatic and musical productions. Among Buhle’s compositions was an anthem dedicated to FEW.

Her own battle with HIV/AIDS enabled her to make an invaluable contribution to the development of the organisation’s Health and Support programme. As one of the lead spokespersons for FEW’s anti-hate crimes campaign, the Rose has Thorns, she led marches and rallies, facilitated community workshops, and represented the organisation at conferences, workshops, meetings and other events.

At the time of her death, Buhle was Co-ordinator of the Arts and Culture programme at FEW.

Busi Sigasa (2006) Photo by taken at Constitution Hill by Zanele Muholi, as part of the first Faces & Phases series

Busi Sigasa (2006)
Photo by taken at Constitution Hill by Zanele Muholi, as part of the first Faces & Phases series

Busi also went by the name “(Queen) Latifah”, something of a testimony to her aspirations. She was a writer and poet like Buhle, but preferred the printed medium to the performing stage. A hustler who was not afraid of hard work, nor of speaking her mind, Busi was one of FEW’s more vocal and energetic volunteers. As long as her health and resources permitted, she was fully present at all the organisation’s events and activities, not just participating but also helping in any way required.

She was an eager learner who took full advantage of FEW’s Skills Development programme, acquiring, among others, computer and photography skills. A participant in the 2006 Visual Literacy Project, one of her photographs was selected for the FEW 2007 Calendar.

Busi was one of the first spokespersons for the Rose has Thorns campaign, dating back to the Launch Rally in April 2002.

Both Buhle & Busi are featuring in 2006 FEW documentary  directed by Zanele Muholi to be screened on the day of the event.

Inkanyiso invites you to come celebrate the life and work of these two passionate and fearless human rights defenders, who had already made such a mark when they passed…@ 25.  A number of other poets and writers will also be featured, and will participate in conversations about art, activism, human rights and well-being. The event will be facilitated by Donna A M Smith, co-founder and former CEO of FEW, who also writes and performs poetry.
25 or more performers will showcase their work as part of this event, also as means of celebrating and commemorating these beautiful lives.

Note that Busi & Buhle’s work will be shared our readers on this platform.

Date:              6th April, 2013

Venue:           Goethe Institute, 119 Jan Smuts Avenue, Parkwood

Time:             12 noon to 6 pm

Contact:         Inkanyiso
Tel: +27 81 388 0155

 Email:      inkanyiso2009@gmail.com

http://inkanyiso.org

Posted in Activism, Archived memories, Arts, Black Lesbians, Black Lesbians & Allies Against Hate Crimes, Profile, Queer Africa, Queer poetics, Records and histories, revolution, South Africa, Townships, Victims, Violence, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures | Tagged , , | 24 Comments

2013 March 7: The Colours of Love

Posted on March 7, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

I find myself thinking: what colour are your eyes?

A melding of clear and cloudy skies

Smoke drifting up from the tip of my joint

The roll of the waves before breaking point

Tell me, sweet one, what colour are your eyes?

What is the colour of your unruly hair?

Dark and compelling, like the tiger’s lair

Vibrant black, or warm, soft brown?

Glossy and rich, like jewels in a crown

Tell me, my darling, what’s the colour of your hair?

I want to locate the colour of your lips

As they softly brush my fingertips

Infused with passion, cherries, almost red

Drops of wine spilled all over my bed

Won’t you come and show me the colour of your lips?

Now I start to imagine the colour of your love

In the eyes of the tiger I’m terrified of

The deep of the rivers washing over me

The blaze of the fires that set me free

Tell me, my heart, what colour is your love?

© damsel
19/8/09

_______________________

About the author

Bio – Donna Smith

*Damsel (DAM Smith) is the co-founder of the Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW). Served  as the CEO of the organization from 2002 – 2006. 

DONNA A M SMITH, the self-styled Archetypal Poet, was born in St Catherine, Jamaica, on June 2, 1960. She received her early education first from her mother, then a range of rural and urban infant and primary schools. After completing “A” levels at the Immaculate Conception (Catholic) High School for Girls in urban St. Andrew, Donna studied law at the University of the West Indies from which she received her Bachelor’s degree, with Honours, in 1981.

Donna became disillusioned with law after a little more than a decade of practice. She set up her own firm in 1993, using it as a platform from where she gradually transitioned into conflict resolution, training / facilitation, youth empowerment and, eventually, activism, which brought her to South Africa in 1999.

Poetry is not the only art form in which Donna has been interested. A writer of some note, she has contributed to publications as various as the Gleaner and Star newspapers in Jamaica, and the Behind the Mask website, Womyn and Soul magazines, and Exit newspaper in South Africa. She also authored a chapter in the educational text, South African Visual Culture (Ed. van Eeden and du Preez, Van Schaik Publishers, 2005).

Donna was a member of the celebrated University Singers (official choir of her tertiary alma mater) for 18 years. She has also been involved in a number of theatre and video film productions, both here and in the Caribbean, the most recent being the self-produced, self-directed this poem … expresses how I feel, which premiered at the Out in Africa Film Festival, 2005.

Her poetry career in South Africa has seen her on stage at Cool Runnings in Melville, Horror Café and other venues in Newtown, House of Nsako in Brixton and, in Braamfontein, the Simply Blue Visual Vocals Poetry Slam, and Wits Amphitheatre, where she has been a favourite in the line-up for the annual Jozi Spoken Word festival, 2007 – 2009. After a three-gig tour of Cape Town late in 2009, Donna returned to grace the stage at the Interdependent Youth Cultural Festival in Soweto. She has also performed at the State Theatre in Pretoria – most recently as a guest act at the inaugural Reggae Seminar co-hosted by the Jamaican High Commission in 2010 – and in Windhoek, Namibia.

Donna mounted her solo production, The Archetypal Poet in Concert, at Wits Amphitheatre in March 2010, then performed the show as part of the Fringe Programme of the National Arts Festival in Grahamstown, later that year. Donna has recently taken a break from performing, as she works on her debut anthology and other creative pursuits.

Posted in Abantu, Activism, Archived memories, Servitude | Tagged | 5 Comments

2013 Feb. 25: Another Soul Lost

Posted on March 6, 2013 by inkanyiso2009
art performance - Decomposing Bitterness by Mpumi Rakabe

art performance – Decomposing Bitterness by Mpumi Rakabe


I received your news, but

I did not cry!
Am coming

But not today

When we see you, I won’t cry

I’ll remember you like your mothers footsteps

Home is far

Heaven is closer

Rejoice for my sake, peaceful my heart

To convey

To last

To write waste, my eyes look at your bitterly basic elements of instruments

When I underline the long raod ahead of us

We born same date

You live

I suffer

Enjoy your fruitful everlasting

Peaceful life


by Nompumelelo (Dikela; NoNi; Ntswayibane) Mamqwathi
(c) 2013

_________________
About the author

My Name is Nompumelelo (Dikela; NoNi; Ntswayibane) Mamqwathi.

I formed Rakabe Founder of Black Soul of Art Creations and Curator of Women’s Journey Annual Exhibition.
The exhibition is about women and their art, embracing womanhood in art. The intention for the initiative is to document the art movements of today’s contemporary modern styles and techniques. Our main focus group is female – lesbian artists.

The previous exhibition spoke to contemporary academic history of women artists in South Africa, and promoted a learning curve, which hopefully led to new female master artists, and new value and admiration for art by women.
Brief about my life, I never knew my parents and I have one brother (Tshepiso) and one adopted sister (Christie van Zyl), but am stronger than normality. Look out for my biography /documentary-Life Without A Fullstop.

Currently, I am studying visual art- Art History at UNISA, taking photography as a healing process, video art and writing.  I’m documenting artists and their movements. To expose and also showcase the challenges, successes faced by artists with the role of ‘the arts’ in our society today.
My research is about Women who are killed and their bodies are being decomposed bitterly (Human Traffic). I use my body as a subject matter. In the images attached I dig my own grave, and died for all women that are killed-to be killed. The project is ongoing series/ work in progress. There will be an additional short video to back up the project.

In a resisting piece I wrote about Decomposing Bitterness

Hope my work conveys the bitterness within sharp tools men use to kill, hurt, destroy and rip souls!

Am A Slave of Artsholes

 

Posted in Activism, Archived memories, Performance, Queer poetics, Victims, Violence, Visual history, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures | Tagged | 4 Comments

2013 March 5: Lihle’s story

Posted on March 5, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

First part

My name is Lihle, (not real name). I chose not to use my real name for this story because I was scared of being victimized. Even though I’m not ashamed of the fact that I’m living with the virus. I’m not ready for the stares, and some people will over do the caring things to show that they do not have a problem with me being HIV positive.

I am a 28 year old lesbian woman, mother of an 8 year old boy who brings joy in my life every day.
I live in Khayelitsha with my brothers, I do technical support for a private company, and I studied information technology. I love writing, organizing event and just helping young kids to achieve their dreams.

At the moment I’m registering my project to teach young people from my community about different things like beading and talking about my experiences through life. With my partner’s help we managed to get some material, we also teach fine arts and hopefully in the long run we will be able to teach ceramics as well. However, the material is too expensive for us at the moment.

I’m very passionate about activism, I love happiness and I hate laziness.

I have overcome my fears about the virus and I made a decision that I will not die until my son is old enough to fend for himself and I hope to see my grandchildren. I am one of the luckiest people alive to have a partner that loves and supports me in all I do. She is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I can safely say she is the partner I’ve been looking for, she is compassionate and I love her to bits not just for being there for me but I love her for my heart, she is good for my soul.
If I believed in destiny I would say “she is my destiny” or “the one”. I sometimes feel like I have no right to have sex with her since she is negative, however, that’s something my counsellor and I are working on, but my biggest fear is what if something goes wrong with the protection we are using and I end up infecting her.

I am involved in a lot of activities which keep me going, and my family has been great. The thing that keeps me going is the decision I make every morning to forgive and be happy. So I have to make sure I smile and at least make the one person that keeps me going smiling.

Second part

Choosing to live has been a real challenging choice for me. Living has been really fruitful to say the least.

Growing up had its own challenges especially if one is a breadwinner at home. I applied for a life insurance policy. That I thought was a Gift to my son, my brothers and to my unemployed father, little did I know that I would be receiving a gift myself.

The process and thing I needed to do in order to get the policy were explained to me, which included taking several medical tests to confirm my health state. However, there was one test I had to do before the application was approved. I had to take an HIV/AIDS test.

People usually get scared when they have to test, but I wasn’t because I was so sure that this too will come out negative, so you can imagine my surprise when I was told otherwise.

Let me take you through my day.

I had tested the day before so I was going there to just get my results and go to court, well that was my plan anyway. When I got to the doctor’s office, the doctor asked me to sit down. I could see it in her face that she was the bearer of bad news.

She kept asking questions like:
“If you are HIV positive how would you take it?
Who would you tell? Is there a person you can talk to?”

For me that was stupid because I’ve been given bad news almost all my life and I already knew the results, so I asked her nicely to stop asking me stupid questions and just give me the results.

When she said that she is sorry but I was indeed HIV positive, it sounded different from what I thought it would sound like. I was not prepared for her to say it. Even though I knew what the result were.

She ripped my heart into pieces.

My world fell apart.

I wanted to drain all the blood from my body.

By the time I got home it was already late. In the morning there were no tears, but I began to think about who could have infected me. The blame game had begun in my head. The problem is I didn’t know who to blame from the people I was in an accident with, to people I’ve slept with. I wanted someone to account to this unfortunate incident. I sank in thoughts until my head started spinning.

Even though I wanted to cry as the pain was too much, there were no tears. I decided to buy a bottle of vodka and drank half of it and by that time tears and sobs came non-stop. I cried until I fell asleep. When I woke up, my friends were there, preparing food for me.

I was diagnosed with HIV last year  (2012 June/July). I am not sure about the month now. I then disclosed my status to my father, not that I required any assistance or support from him as he is not staying with me, I just felt like telling him.

No one judged me for my behavior. They were there for me because they cared and because of that I made a choice to live with the virus and that’s all. It is a virus that is in my blood nothing else; it does not define who I am not who I sleep with.

This is how I disclosed to my friends:

I sent an sms to one of my close friend, so I know what I told her. The others I think I told them during my drinking spree. Some I sent WhatsApp messages and even though some acted like they accepted me. I later realized that was not the case. My friends and I used to call and visit each other often but this time it was different, even if I was the one who did the visiting, they suddenly didn’t have time or they would just ignore me blatantly.

To all the lesbians out there who are living with the virus and feel there is no one to talk to because you’re scared of how your fellow lesbians will take your HIV status, you are not alone.
The key is to live a positive lifestyle.

My Girlfriend and I

I have just reconciled with my girlfriend, I wanted to be honest with her so that she can decide if she wants to stay with me or not. After telling her, she was very supportive and caring still, even though we encountered some challenges sexually, because I was scared to make love to her due to my status.

We had to go through the process together, learning more about HIV and our sex life, we went to Triangle Project (an LGBTI organization in Cape Town) and there we learned ways to protect each from contracting STI’s including protecting her from HIV.

We now have a healthy sex life. We’ve worked through our problems and honesty the open communication in our relationship has worked so far.

My Fears

If my CD4 count went down and I start taking medication what will happen?
However, I have plenty of time before I cross that bridge.

My attitude towards my status has really helped me and the people around me including my brothers help me not to give up.  Disclosing my status gave me strength to face the virus head on and for that I thank God for giving me such wonderful people in my life, people who halved my load. Thus far I haven’t faced any real challenges that I can’t deal with.

__________________________

*** Please note that the name of the author is reserved to protect her identity and privacy.

 

Posted in Abantu, Activism, Archived memories, Life Stories | Tagged , | 8 Comments

2013 Feb. 25: Documentary Review : Raped for Who I Am

Posted on March 4, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

Year: (2006)
Duration: 27 mins

Director: Lovinsa Kavuma

Main characters: Bathini Dambuza, Buhle Msibi, Kebarileng Sebetoane, Mary Louw and Zanele Muholi


The title itself is disturbing, it sends a sharp, shivering pain through our spinal cords. It’s a lesbian’s worst nightmare. Being raped in our communities never seems to make send; in fact I just don’t understand what drives a person to violate another person’s privacy, private emotions and private space.

Lovinsa Kavuma has brought this adrenaline-filled, heart wrenching and painful story, based in the townships of our country, documenting the lives of South African black lesbians.
She gives them the platform, the chance to speak out and share their horrific stories. The documentary runs for 27 minutes, 27 minutes of brutal honesty, pure emotions of lesbians who have become victims of corrective rape. I saw all sorts of faces, backgrounds, different homes, but one common factor that put them in one box, corrective rape.

I am amazed at how the director kept the cast at ease, comfortable to go through scene after scene through their terrible ordeals; I felt their pain, their burden that they carry.

The documentary’s dramatic tone, true nature of the film, was exceptional. I felt the sadness shatter my heart as one of the characters explained how she was first raped by her own father. Thereafter followed by two rape incidents, the struggle with her mother for acceptance and the deep history involved with her abusive father. She has been through so much, only halfway her life, and has already endured the worst crime against women.

In one of the opening scenes, a man in the back ground who clearly does not understand the lifestyles of homosexual people who adheres to what the community feeds them, and hides behind culture. I think our families and friends should embrace them for who they are, not for what they are labeled as, and culture should not be the base of hate crimes, for everyone is equal in the universe and above.

It’s a touching story, certainly not for the soft-hearted. I must say I had to develop a tough skin, stay objective while watching the documentary as a black lesbian. However, I disliked the one sided aspect of the story, it lacked objectiveness; you see tackling issues. We need to know both sides of the story, why it happens, why they do it and how the survivors feel about it. We often don’t admit to this, but most homophobic attacks are due to people who don’t understand the lifestyle, they are not familiar with it. We cannot blame an individual for not understanding certain lifestyles, and being uncomfortable in unfamiliar environments.

It is only fair that we hear the side of the community as well. I would have loved for the story to document the lighter side of lesbians. Document their careers and supporting families.
Show the audience that despite people’s sexualities, at the end of the day, it does not define them.
Overall, the documentary was well expressed, a few minor shortcomings, but well written, and well directed. It is what I call a screen shot of what black lesbians go through everyday, it’s a struggle, and it goes on.
Peace and love

Zandile’s previous writing

2013 Feb. 14: Hello, my name is Zandile, and I am in love with a woman

Posted in Abantu, Activism, Black Lesbians, Black Lesbians & Allies Against Hate Crimes | Tagged | 8 Comments

2013 Mar. 3: 7 Years on… the struggles continues

Posted on March 3, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

by Ntsiki Cassie Dlamini

In memory of Zoliswa Nkonyana (19), who was stoned to death in Khayelitsha in 2006.
_____________________

Your piercing stares

uncloth me

Whilst your nasty comments

dehumanize and humiliate me

Your laughs behind my back

drove me, drove me

drove me, deep, deep into

my own universe

A place, a friendly place

Where being different was okay

A place where souls

found each other

A place where I could be

genuinely happy

In this place meaningless

things such as

gender, sex organs or sexuality

didn’t matter.

Although in your universe

Although in your universe

I realised the starring

were piercing deeper

the comments

were harsher and

your laughs had gotten

even more louder

I turned a blind eye

that I was an outcast

So I kept to myself

with my head held low

to avoid drawing

more unnecessary attention

And yet at the age of 19

You felt you had

tolerated me enough

You tore me open with
your weapons and bare hands

I felt like I was drowning,

drowning 
in my own blood

no one cared to save me

Each beating, 
stabbing and rock than tore

my flesh open

I named them one by one

Activist, Feminist, Homosexual, Struggle

Acceptance, Justice, Power

and it was well with my soul

For you have given the

ones left behind the strength

to fight for me and themselves

I lay there after you

were done with me

to listen to my own life leave my body

Finally you have killed me

Not with your laughs

nor comments

neither your stares

But you killed me like

an animal with no feelings, 
no mercy

heartless and cold

Only because I am a lesbian

You didn’t understand me

You didn’t even

want to try

We will live on

for we were born to live

whether accepted by

you or not but

we will still live on

We will keep on fighting for our freedom

The struggle continues…

__________________________

About the author

Ntsiki Cassie Dlamini is a young beautiful South African proud lesbian woman, activist.
She’s from a small town, Pietermaritzburg. Studied Arts & Drama at University of KwaZulu Natal (UKZN).
In 2006, she volunteered at the Gay & Lesbian Network as a health counsellor, and facilitator.
She also participated in the Rainbow Theatre Company, a drama group that showcase the difficulties that same gender loving persons are facing on daily basis.
She is a writer and spend most of her spare time writing.

Her previous works:

2013 Feb. 16: My own perfect

2013 Feb. 11: I almost wished

Posted in Activism, Archived memories, Arts, Black Lesbians, Black Lesbians & Allies Against Hate Crimes, Community, Crea(c)tive senses, Expression, Hate Crimes, Organizations, Performance, Poetry, Queer poetics, South Africa, Victims, Violence, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures | 5 Comments

2013 Feb. 28: Simply it

Posted on March 2, 2013 by inkanyiso2009
by Mandisa Mchiza
(c) 2013I’m comfortable with who I am….
Yes I am
Irrespective of the constraints I’m given by society…
Yes there are
I’m not hurt nor will I say
I am…
Yes it is what it is
As I take these excruciating punches that doesn’t mean
I allow them…
Yes I’m obliged

Brothers and sisters is what we call ourselves but its never a vivid image….
Yes hence

“she’s lesbian and he’s gay”
A friends with AIDS is still my friend…
Yes but a lesbian neighbour is yet to be part of your life

I am my mother and father’s daughter…
Yes but i’ll never be their second chance

Not ashamed to be a rival….Yes its all in the name of what i believe in

“You are a sinner ”
and these are words that have become music to my ears…

Yes but believe me when i say i’ll never be a fan of the genre

Baby is what i’m called when i walk alone…
Yes but bloody stabane is
who I become when I’m with my baby

Diploma, degree, masters you mention them…
Yes those words do exist
in my vocab hence I too will wear that gown
Content is what they call it….
Yes its ABC
I am me and shall remain

me because
ME is I and as long as I live that’s all
I’ll be

_______________________________________
About the author 

Mandisa is a writer, student photographer and currently volunteers for Inkanyiso as a documenter.

Posted in Activism, Archived memories, Arts, Black Lesbians, Exposure, Queer poetics | Tagged | 1 Comment

Xana Nyilenda’s birthday

Posted on March 1, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

 

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200738153675888&set=vb.1223456677&type=2&theater

Xana’s birthday @home in P Section Umlazi, Durban captured by Themba Vilakazi.

Posted in Archived memories, Arts, Birthday, Black Lesbians, Connections, Documentation; Filming; Photography; Community, Exposure, Expression, Performance, Profile | Leave a comment

2013 Mar.1: Definitely NOT “Gaysbian”

Posted on March 1, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

… But a Relationship between Two People
by Yaya Mavundla & Lesego Tlhwale

Gaysbian is a term I’ve heard been mentioned a couple of times. When I first heard it, I was dumb struck because I wasn’t sure if I didn’t hear correctly or something. The first time I heard of the term, it came as a surprise to me, but being the curious person that I am, I made It a point to find out and understand what it is that was being talked about.

Like every other person who tries and find a definition for something nowadays, I went straight to Google, but to my disappointment I found nothing that describe what gaysbian meant. So I decided to ask around and the definition or rather the explanation that came out of my probing was that:  “The term Gaysbian is used for people who are gay men/trans-woman dating butch lesbians/trans-man.”

I am all about, acceptance, embracing and celebrating diversity in the LGBTI community, however this was just too much to consume. I mean, for me this was a foreign term, I knew nothing about it, never heard of it or even encountered it. Okay, maybe I might have met some hot beautiful gay guys when I used to party V2, one of thee hottest gay club in its time. Some of the gay guys would hit on me, but I have always thought it was because I was just a handsome lesbian and they mistook me for a guy, I never took it seriously.

I am no expert in this gaysbian world. However, there are people who have first-hand experience when it comes to this issue and they are not ashamed to say they engage in these kinds of relationships.

Yaya Mavundla, a gay man living in Johannesburg unpacked this issue for us. This is what he had to say about gaysbian: “I think the word was taken from two people dating who happened to be known as Gay and Lesbian by the society and because of a huge lack of knowledge. If people were not so misinformed and didn’t like to complicate and label things but just see couples as being just that, we wouldn’t be discussing this. It’s funny how people would always say at the end of the day we are all men and women so why can’t we be versatile? Oh no, I can’t be versatile, I’m so bottom!”

“What’s the issue with people accepting the fact that the so bottom fag and butch lesbian can date and not penetrate each other like straight people would do? What makes them different from you? Yes there might be a lot of differences but does it make them any less of human beings and immediately gives one the right to judge them and reckon they are no longer one of us?”

“We have people of who are in such relationships and they are NOT gaysbians, they are two people loving each other and they are NOT confused, its love.”

“It’s not surprising that some couples would keep their relationships a secret; they are scared of being judged and labelled by our community (since we are so good at it). After all that’s said and done, it still doesn’t change the fact that they are human beings.”

“A few years ago there was an open discussion about people who are in such relationships and I was shocked that the same questions that we hate in our community that are usually asked by straight folks were asked by one of our own; how do you have sex? Do you kiss each other? Who is a girl in a relationship?”

“These are rhetorical questions but they were asked just to prove their invalid points, that you are not part of the community, but a stranger which is why you are labelled “gaysbian”. Labels are given to people all the time but that doesn’t take away their identity and the fact they are human beings who are just madly in love each other like Romeo and Juliet. Me!”

The same sentiments were shared by Candice, a trans-woman, who said that, “I don’t see anything wrong, this is a free diverse world where by everyone have the right to freedom of expressing their feelings irrespective of who says what. People should stop judging and allow love to love who it feels to love. Love don’t ask why or chose who or what you are, love falls for who it feels for, whether butch lesbian or femme gay, love is uncontrollable, it goes where it desires. I love and date lesbians and I can’t change it because that’s how love feels and yes I do date guys as well, whether femme or straight looking, just as long as they don’t wear make-up and stilettos, (Lmao) if so then we will encounter a problem.”

However, some people don’t agree with this.  “I feel it goes against the meaning of being gay! Being gay means being attracted to somebody of same sex… it doesn’t matter how butch a lesbian can be, she’s still female. Same applies to a gay guy, ngisho angaba I queen enjani (even if he’s a queen) bottom line is he’s still male. Therefore, if these two get into a relationship darling they are more like a confused straight couple, said Diva Cadach.”

Some even went to an extent of calling it “perverted and twisted.”

Hearing all of that, made me realise how broad sexuality is, and the boxes that we put ourselves in blocks us from seeing that there is more to it than meets the eye.  As cliché this may sound, you do learn something new every day.

____________________

About the authors

Yaya Mavundla is a Model | MC, Columnist: EXIT, Entertainment Reporter.
Check: http://www.yayarsa.blogspot.com

Lesego Tlhwale is a writer, an activist, a lover, a friend, a mother to five cats and an aspiring sex expert and teacher.

Previous articles by Lesego
2013 Feb. 12: A dildo is not a man; it’s a fantastic toy…

and

2013 Feb. 24: Misinformed stereotypes among lesbians

Posted in Abantu, Activism, Archived memories | Tagged | 24 Comments

2013 Feb. 27: Melody

Posted on February 28, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

by Sebenzile
© 2012

All I wanted was to know her name,

Know her dreams and erase her shame.

Love her mess, and help craft her joy,

Kiss her hand, and be with her even when I am alone.

I know she loves deeply,

Why wouldn’t love find a home in such a gentle being?

I know she sings freely,

A voice of reason and a friend in the quest for meaning

I wish she knew my name,

Knew how much I long to tell her how breathtaking her smile is,

Knew the colours of my space,

That I imagine her laughter resting on the walls of my heart, not just those of my memory,

That she knew my arms,

Knew that I would gently squeeze away her fears and caress her till she feels a like queen again,

Knew my lips,

Soft, ready to land gently on her forehead, on her neck and on the space where her heart rests

I wish I could tell her how I feel,

Find the courage to stare into her eyes, and dare her to take a chance on me,

Run my fingers through her locks and draw her close to me,

Make her forget I am young and show her ageless adornment,

Whisper silly secrets in her ear,

Take her on a journey that starts with my hand running down the arch of her back,

And ends with drips of sweat on her skin,

And endless tales on both our lips,

Too precious to speak of, too heavenly for words,

So we wrap it in a song, a sweet endless melody, like she.

________________________________

About the author
“Sebenzile is a feminist, a writer and poet from Johannesburg with an interest in the arts, literature, issues of gender (men and women) and education. She is an avid reader and an academic, and is in the process of launching an online talk show with 3 other women. She plays provincial cricket and has plans to launch into sports development for women in the future.
And more importantly, a woman loving woman”

 

Posted in Art Activism in South Africa, Crea(c)tive senses, Expression, Profile, Queer poetics | Tagged | 2 Comments