2013 Aug. 31: Best mark followed by death news

by Collen Mfazwe

The month of August has to be a very challenging yet exciting time in my life. I lost my grandmother on the 17th Aug. 2013 and 5 days later I was given my final results for my foundation course in photography at Market Photo Workshop, Newton, Johannesburg.

I remember after the heart breaking news about my grandmother’s death, they had called me at home to wish me luck.  It was really hard to be optimistic but I pushed myself to produce better display of my work and I produced best because surprisingly I manage to come second best in the course, this however was happily sad moment for me.

As I reflect, towards the end of my course things were not very well. I remember my granny was not ok and we all thought it’s not a big deal because she went to the doctor twice or thrice and the doctors didn’t say what exactly was the problem with her, but she was drinking all those pills that the Dr. gave her.
Somehow I had faith that they would make her better, though I have a clear vision of her sick(ness). I don’t know if God was testing my strength and faith. I was lost in my own world not knowing what to do and at that moment I was alone in the flat. I recalled vividly chatting to my sister like we always do on Saturday morning. I wanted to check if she’s ok but before she even responded I saw her Whatsapp status saying  “she was a great granny RIP grandmother.”

Collen Mfazwe at Phumulani cemetery, Daveyton, the day of her granny's funeral on the 24th Aug. 2013 Photo by Zanele Muholi.

Collen Mfazwe  with family members at Phumulani cemetery, Daveyton, the day of her granny’s funeral on the 24th Aug. 2013
Photo by Zanele Muholi.

The shock hit me and I asked her quickly if our granny was gone.  She said yes and I didn’t believe her as tear drops fell consecutively on my face, at that point I remember I had to go to school  but I lost focus for a moment, there confused and  alone.
However that did not discourage me, I went to school anyways though I was not thinking straight but thank God I didn’t do anything stupid.  Sunday morning I went home anticipating that all I heard was a lie but when I got there everyone was there.
Sadly my granny was not and I tried hardly to convince myself that maybe she went to the mall to collect her pension grant (money) but as time went by my eyes were full of tears realizing that she’s gone not for temporary but for good. I realized that her time has arrived. I never thought I’d survive the week that followed.

Market Photo Workshop (MPW) became a second home to me because I spent every day of my two months studying there. I made a promise to myself that I did not want to let myself down and the people around me.  Most of all I did not want to let the person paying for my fees down not because I owed her, as she always says that I don’t owe her anything the only thing she wants to see is relevance.  I also wanted to prove that I am capable and that I can. Things were not easy, I promise, but I did my best. I proved that I can be the best as well.
We all know that photography is not all about pressing shutter button, there’s more to it than that and it is hard but I managed.  I mean when you want something you fight for it, you make sure you get it no matter how hard the situation can be.  You really work harder to get it. So I did exactly that.

When I left home and went to stay in Parktown because of school, my family at home they didn’t take me seriously.  That didn’t stop me from working very hard and my sisters were always there for me, they gave me support even though they didn’t understand what was really going on. Although they called and checked if I was doing ok.  We even chatted on whatsapp and I really appreciated that.
I’m not from a very wealthy family but the little things that my sister is doing for me and my siblings means a lot. I’m not talking only financially but the love and care that she is giving me is so extreme.
Currently I’m staying with an amazing crew in a lesbian shelter  where I also get strong support from the people I stay with.  We are not of the same age group but that doesn’t mean a thing to us because we all respect each other.

My sexuality doesn’t distract me due to things that I need to achieve. I’m so well aware that being a lesbian is not a career and it won’t put bread on the table. When you are a grown up like me, obviously your siblings are also expecting something from you. I like being a photographer but most of all I love taking photographs.

Now I’m just pondering on the fact that it is the end of women’s month in South Africa.  I have lost both my mother and my grandmother who were two great women in my life. I haven’t lost hope thanks to Nomthandazo Mfazwe my sister and Zanele Muholi for they are the reason that Women’s month gradually makes sense to me.


Related post

 

Inkanyiso crew supported the member and Majola family at the time of sadness

Inkanyiso crew supported the member and Majola family at the time of sadness.
© Koketso Mohalane
24/08/2013

 

Previous by/ featuring Collen

2013 July 13: Picturing Duduzile Zozo’s funeral

and

2013 April 16: Not just a handsome butch lesbian

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Homosexuality, Hope, Loss of parents, We Are You, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, We were (t)here, Writing is a Right, Youth voices | Tagged | 7 Comments

2013 September 1: Bafake umfaniswano omama nobab’ umfundisi

by Londeka Dlamini

Bekukuhle ngendlela eyisimangaliso enkonzweni yase VMCI izolo sibavakashele siyithimba leNkanyiso. Uma kuyiSonto lokuqala enyangeni bafaka umfaniswano, izinsizwa nobaba ababizwa ngensika bafaka amabhulukwe amnyama, amahembe amhlophe kanye nontanjana obomvu kanti omama kanye nezintombi bafaka iziketi ezimnyama kanye nebhantshi lengwe. Bengithanda uma sekuculwa ahole idwala umam’ mfundisi, ahole insika ubaba begwaba bashone phansi, ugezeke inhliziyo ukubona into enhle kanje.

Image

Pastor Z Zungu with VMCI congregants
Photos by Zanele Muholi (2013 Sept. 1), Durban.

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Umfundisi ubefake umfaniswano weNsika naye kanti umama naye efake owedwala, sikhuluma no mam’ mfundisi ukuthi kungani befake umfaniswano nabo uthi “kube kuhle kithina ukuthi sikhombise ukuseka kanye nokugqugquzela umbono nenhloso yebandla lethu sifisa liye phambili ngakho siyingxenye nathi”.

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Inkonzo ibimnandi kakhulu nokubuka-ke nje abazalwane befake umfaniswano webandla bekuyinto enhle kakhulu. Umfundisi ubevule encwadini ka Mark 10 verse 35 lapho khona kukhulunywa ngombuso kaNkulunkulu. Eshumayela umfundisi uthathe wathi “Uma uJesu ethola indawo kuwe kusho ukuthi umbuso kaNkulunkulu wakhile kuwe, uma uyingxenye yombuso kaNkulunkulu awukhathazwa izinto ezincane”.

Kuqhume ihlombe umfundisi ethi “uma ungibuka ungaze uthi ngiyisicebi kodwa vele ngiyisona ngoba ngisembusweni ka Nkulunkulu, umbuso ka Nkulunkulu wakhiwe enhlizweni yomuntu”.

Khona manjalo enkonzweni kube sekuhalaliselwa umzalwane othenge imoto ubaba uMngadi.

Uma-kuyisonto lokuqala enyangeni kwamukelwa nesidlo, umfundisi ube esemema wonke umuntu esidlweni ukuba bemukele umzimba negazi lika Kristu ethi wonke umuntu wemukelekile ngisho ukhonza kwelinye ibandla inqobo nje uma uzizwa ukba ufanelekile ukudla isidlo.

Hhiya-ke muzi wakwethu ngiyethemba nikuthakasele ukufunda lengosi, nokubuka izithombe esinipha zona kanti-ke uma nawe unesifiso ukuyohlanganyela ne VMCI unganikela khona endaweni yase Dikonia Centre eThekwini, kuze kube ngokuzayo.


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Previous articles by Londeka


2013 June 18: New Brand For House Music Lovers

and

2013 June 16: Zishade libalele izitabane

Posted in Power of the Voice, South Africa, Writing is a Right, Youth voices, Zanele Muholi | Tagged | 9 Comments

2013 Aug. 31: Black Lesbian Visual Activist wins Mbokodo award

by Kopano Sibeko

For any stereotypical person who is a South African,when you see the word iMbokodo you’ll think a straight/ hetero woman with children or a married woman with/out children.
It is a myth of course because there are many definitions or how iMbokodo individuals identify themselves.
Question what happens when a black – self identifying lesbian win Mbokodo award.
By the way iMbokodo derived from Wathint’ Abafazi, Wathint’ iMbokodo – English translation “You strike a woman, you strike a rock”)

Greeted by elegance as I stood outside The Theatre on the Track in Kyalami, Midrand, Johannesburg.
Surrounded by beautiful (intergenerational) women who were dressed to kill as they anticipated who will take the prestigious Mbokodo awards for different categories.
Themed titled “The Phoenix within me: African woman arise!” inspired by the great American poet Maya Angelou.
Without being too critical, am disturbed by the fact that we have not used own South African Maya’s for this theme since we have many who have written extensively on the very the same subject matter as they experience the Apartheid the divided the nation.

The second annual Mbokodo awards held on 29 August 2013, highlighted creative photography amongst many categories.  The beautiful ceremony honoured South African women who are deserving of being appreciated and recognised for their artistic works.
Photographers: Zanele Muholi, Neo Ntsoma and Marlene Neumann contended for the award that celebrates the creative use of photography in original and exciting ways.
According to the 2013 Mbokodo brochure the particular award ‘honours artists who through subject matter or technique expand the boundaries of their genre.’

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The butch on stage after being announced as the winner of Creative Photography award…

Muholi through her wit and beliefs of visual activism received the award.

She voiced out that the award stands, “to honour all the women who gave birth to Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) children.”
Muholi emphasized that is not a sin for parents to give love and embrace their LGBTI children.
Also dedicated the award to the lost life of the brutally murdered lesbian, Duduzile Zozo from Thokoza East of Johannesburg.

Image

Muholi delivering acceptance speech as she receives an ‘unexpected’ award on Thurs. 29th Aug. 2013.
Photo by Nqobile Zungu

In March 2013, Muholi received the Index on Censorship award for Freedom of Expression, London.
At the end of July 2013, received the Glamour award titling her as the Campaigner of the Year, Johannesburg.
In Aug. 2013 won the 2nd Mbokodo award.

On the 26th Aug. 2013, Muholi had an interview with Azania Mosaka of PowerFM and spoke about the importance of Visual Activism and her recent appointment as the Hononary Professor of the University of the Arts/Hochschule Fur Kunste Bremen.  She vehemently expressed that “ I didn’t expect this, but I feel honoured to be acknowledged as a person who holds such authority , especially in the work that I do.”
The honorary ceremony will take place on the 28th October 2013, Bremen, Germany.

Azania described her as a globe trotter, Muholi continues to tour the world and speak about her subjective art of photography.  Muholi expressed in Glamour magazine’s August issue that “my mission is to ensure that there are positive images of black lesbians in the mainstream media.”
She has openly uttered that when she ponders about the time she was growing up, she never saw photographs of people like her (black lesbians) and that’s what inspired her to start documenting South African black lesbians.
She also mentioned that the only time that black lesbians are headlined in the mainstream media, are when they are hate crime survivors if not victims and at that point they are already dead to share their stories.  If at all that murder case becomes prominent like that of Eudy Simelane (1977- 2008); Noxolo Nogwaza (1987 -2011) and Duduzile Zozo (1987 – 2013).

The visual activist also featured in Drum Magazine earlier this year, she was questioned about her passion in photography and the LGBTI community, she said “I’m passionate about photography and especially documenting the black lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities because that’s a kind of social documentary that has not been captured sufficiently”.

“If it’s not documented it never happened” these are the words that Muholi commonly shares with her crew members of Inkanyiso, a developing media production that she founded in 2009.
Muholi strongly believes if something is not captured, through audio, video or photography’s one can never really defend its existence because there’s nothing tangible to show for it.

Muholi continues to add that “I feel like there’s not a lot of positive writing about black lesbians in our country. It’s up to us as black lesbians to change the negative imagery. We need to create a balance. Yes there’s violence, but there are positive stories to tell.”
She confesses that, that’s where the inception of Inkanyiso was awakened. “Who better to tell our stories than ourselves” she giggles.

“To be validated and recognised internationally you have to work hard “shares Muholi who also admits that her work is more recognised internationally than it is locally, she says that it saddens her that her work carries more weight in other countries than in SA.
Some South Africans are thirsty for queer content, and schools curricular need to inclusive Sexual Orientation studies and African Sexualities. In that way we will be able to negotiate our stance in our communities to further educate many who might not understand the LGBTI lives and realities.

It is rather rare that one interviews Muholi and doesn’t mention Lulu Xingwana in the same breathe, Muholi laughs and says “ now she’s an advocate for change and that’s all that matters”, she adds that people like giving Lulu unnecessary airtime.

Like almost every other women who was nominated at the awards Muholi shared her ‘unexpected’ joy, nervousness and gratitude to be recognized in a country where women were previously oppressed and disadvantaged.
The awards seek to continuously empower women to rise “The Mbokodo Awards are a poignant reminder of the custodial role women play in nurturing our society” believes Carol Bouwer, founder of Carol Bouwer Productions , Executive Producer of Mbokodo Awards.

Some of the presenters were:

Mara Louw_0042

Mara Louw who came on stage and joke about having a ‘Ben 10’

Our media personalities L-R:  Kgomotso Matsunyane & Kgopedi oa Namane presented the award to the winners

Our media personalities
L-R: Kgomotso Matsunyane & Kgopedi oa Namane presented some awards…

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Centred, Thembi Mtshali-Jones won Theatre award.
In this photo she is franked by the dancer, Khabonina Qubeka and actress Fiona Ramsay.
Photo by Zanele Muholi


Some performing acts…

Great performance by Black & White Sarafina. Photo by Zanele Muholi

Great performance by Black & White Sarafina.
Photo by Zanele Muholi

For full view of 2013 Mbokodo winners. Click here

Previous by Kopano

2013 Aug. 13: Love Transcends and Love Prevails

Posted in Acceptance speeches, Another Approach Is Possible, Archived memories, As we are, Creating awareness, Education, Human rights, Knowledge, Minister Paul Mashatile, Our lives in the picture, Penetrating mainstream spaces, Power of the Voice, Public spaces, Queer visibility, ReClaim Your Activism, Records and histories, South Africa, South African Black Female Photographers, Together we can, Visual history is a Right not a luxury, We Are You, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, Writing is a Right, Zanele Muholi | Tagged | 11 Comments

2013 Aug. 29: 2nd Mbokodo Awards photos

2013 Aug. 29:   2nd Mbokodo Awards photos

Photos by Nqobile Zungu

 

What:  2nd Mbokodo Awards

Where: The Theatre on the Track, Midrand

Organised by Carol Bouwer Productions

Click here for categories and nominees lists



Francina Ndimande_9776
Women @Mbokodo Awards_9716
Kg & Pedi & Kg_9482
Andiswa_9742
Kgomolemo & Neo_9863


SunGoddess2_9865
Celeste & Bokang_9754

Omama_9752
Beauties_9883

CC & Muholi_9789

Cassandra & Lira_9488

Lerato & friend1_9885
Beauties_9446
Best Musician_9401
A tribute_9403
Carol & Paul_9418


Dineo & Uncle T_9421

 

Previous

Mbokodo Awards (2012)

Message from Minister of Arts & Culture, Paul Mashatile

 

Related articles

Mbokodo Awards honour South African women

Posted in Nqobile Zungu, Penetrating mainstream spaces, Relationships, SA mainstream media, South Africa, Together we can, Visual history is a Right not a luxury, Visualizing public spaces, We Are You, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, We were (t)here, Women's power, Women's Work, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures, Zanele Muholi | Tagged | 5 Comments

2013 Aug. 27: Because I am

 by Tinashe Wakapila

 

It’s no beautiful melody
when you hear a politician promising everything
but a human being’s life
First it was ‘worse than dogs and pigs’,
i thought oh well,
i have
 enough on my platter to deal with
so i brushed it off,
dusted my self up and smiled

Soon smiles turned into frowns and all happiness
drowned when it became…
‘we will behead them’

Could these be the utterances of a human being lacking
knowledge or deliberately diverting attention by inciting hatred.
‘Jail them for two years lets see if they can conceive’

So much hatred in these elderly veins
Pushing murderers,
rapists and priests to torment my soul
My life is threatened, yet this is who i am.

Is it because of who i am that i deserve to die,
for who i am has prompted

Those in power to ignore me suffering
as they talk about peace yet for me they declare death
Its because I am what i am
that they threaten my hopes
Peace lies somewhere,
but as for me it is nowhere
all hope is but gone.

Like empty vessels,
i hear scary noises about lesbians from all angles.

I am in a dark room wondering if its the beginning of the end
or the 
end of the beginning…
Thoughts break my heart and eat me up,
like a female scorpion devouring itself with own venom

I am hurting myself

Should i die or should i try 

I will fight,
i will write because i am what i am

Why then would i choose to be gang raped
why would i want to be beheaded
Who would choose to be bashed and used as an election winning tool

Who would choose to lose privileges
When and how will you get that clear
I am who i am,
because i am
what i am


About the author

Tinashe Wakapila is a Zimbabwean LGBT rights activist in the LBT group Pakasipiti.
She is also a youth leader and a scriptwriter.

Posted in Activism, Anger, Another Approach Is Possible, Archived memories, As we are, Creative Writing, Expression, Friendships, Gender activist, Homosexuality, Human rights, Insulted, LGBT rights activist, Life, Pakasipiti, Politics of existence, Politics of geography, Power of the Voice, Queer poetics, ReClaim Your Activism, Reflection, Textualizing Our Own Lives, We Are You, We Care, Women's power, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures | Tagged | 6 Comments

2013 Aug. 28: Stabbed lesbian survivor – The Saga continues …

by Thekwane Bongi Mpisholo

Its been two weeks since the stabbing of a 26 year old lesbian from Vosloorus township, yet service providers keep failing the survivor over and over, like one more trauma after another. It begs the question, what would anyone faced with this situation do?

Tuesday 21 August 2013 morning came Mahlatse ‘Sweeto’ Makgai went to Natalspruit Hospital, for her 10 day appointment to have her cast removed.
To her surprise, when they searched for her file, it was missing.

sweeto_7917

Sweeto speaking at the memorial service of Duduzile Zozo in Thokoza on the 10th July 2013.
Photo by Collen Mfazwe

In fact, there are protocols – and what’s more, patients have the legal right to see their own files too. She left the hospital that day hoping the file would be found by the following day, when she met with the doctor who had stitched her.

On Wednesday 22 August 2013 early evening, Sweeto set off to the hospital hoping that her file might be found, in order for her doctor to use it as reference for the J88 form.

Instead, the clerk on duty that day told her the same thing she was told the previous day, that her file was missing and that there was no way she would be allowed to search for it personally.
She then decided to go to the first doctor who attended to her.
All the doctor said was that he unfortunately could not help her, without a file in her name.
She pleaded with him, stating the importance of the J88 form to be filled out. Around 19:30 the doctor told Mahlatse that he was going for a break and could only attend to her at 20:30.
Despite Sweeto leaving in a bad state and crying at the same time, she took the numbers given to her, with the intention of calling to enquire about her lost file.
The doctor also said that, even if her file was found, he would not be around that week to assist her because he was going away to a conference.

At this point there were other activists she was relying on for moral and emotional support. The whole process was taking a toll on her and she felt drained and isolated.

Thursday 23 August 2013: Frustrated from the previous day’s ordeal, she tried to call the hospital complaints helpline, but that was another disappointment on its own, the phone kept ringing with no answer.
During the day at 13:40 she went to visit the police officer in charge of her case; little did she know that still more bad news awaited her there.
What she heard further dampened her spirit, she was told that the case against her attacker had been dropped.

She was shocked at the news, because there hadn’t even been a call to notify her as the complainant, about the decisions that were made, those taken in her absence.

Service delivery in government hospitals and police stations seems to be getting worse over the years. Whatever is being done to improve it seems to be in vain.
One of the hospital staff members said that files get lost all the time therefore it was no surprise that her file had vanished too.

What is the protocol for doctors who are absent?
Who attends to their patients during that period?

Sweeto is a woman who has the right to proper service care.

At this point it is obvious that Lulu Xingwana is aware of the hate crime pandemic that is growing rapidly.

Unfortunately visiting families after their loved ones are dead, is not resolving the matter or making it better. What these members of Parliament seem to be doing is just mentioning hate crime in passing to advocate votes.

There appears to be a demon in all the Public Hospitals that feeds on patient files and no exorcist is brought in to solve the crisis.
Will Sweeto’s case be another one that goes down memory lane as an unsolved case?

What does it take for one to be taken seriously after being attacked?

What are the principles of the medical field, if a doctor can attend to a patient and not fill his name and signature (as those are very vital for any patient since it is standard)?

What gives a policeman the right to judge which complainant is worth being attended to and who is to be ignored?

Are hospitals not aware of files that go missing repeatedly?

Did she have to die to show how delicate the matter is?

Then again, that would not help, as the killers of Duduzile Zozo have not been brought to justice.

This is one of the many reasons why women refuse to report such cases, because they refuse to deal with being attacked and being treated badly by the incompetent service providers who do not take their work seriously.
To them people are just numbers that they will give to Statistics SA whenever asked to report back on the work they have done.

We would like to thank Ihawu (Thokoza) and the Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW) for giving the survivor emotional support.

Previous articles by Thekwane

2013 Aug. 20: Lesbian Activist Survives Stabbing

and

2013 July 10: When brutally killed, Dudu was stripped every ounce of her dignity

Posted in Allies, Collen Mfazwe, Conference, Emotional support, Lack of Resources, Opinion, Organizations, Saga, Statistics SA, Youth voices | Tagged | 7 Comments

2013 Aug. 26: Azania Mosaka of PowerFM interviewed Muholi

2013 Aug. 26:  Azania Mosaka of PowerFM interviewing Muholi

Location: PowerFM studio
Houghton, Johannesburg
When: Mon. 26/08/2013

We, (Kopano, Nqobile and Muholi – Inkanyiso crew) arrived at the studio on time at 12h50 for 13h05 radio interview which started just after news till 13h58.

L-R: Kopano Sibeko & Nqobile Zungu before the live broadcasted interview. Photo by Zanele Muholi

L-R: Kopano Sibeko & Nqobile Zungu before the live broadcasted interview.
Photo by Zanele Muholi

Muholi & Azania_9493

Kopano & Muholi_9499
Azania & Muholi_9508
Azania & Muholi_9487

Azania interviewed Muholi on Visual Activism and progression of her work.
The show features ‘high profiled social activists, newsmakers, noteworthy sportsmen and other interesting characters.’ said Lydia Mothabela, Producer.

Photos album
© Nqobile Zungu
26/08/2013

For more on this particular show… or request for podcast via

tweet powerfm_9500

Previous by Kopano, Nqobile and Muholi

2013 Aug. 13: Love Transcends and Love Prevails


and


2013 April 24: Abantu by Nqobile Zungu

and

2013 July 7: Muholi transition with virgins

 

Posted in African Queer Beauty, Another Approach Is Possible, Archiving Queer Her/Histories in SA, Art Activism in South Africa, As we are, Creating awareness, Education, Johannesburg People’s PRIDE (JHBPP), Know Your SA Queer History, Life Stories, Mainstream media, Media works, Our lives in the picture, Power of the Voice, SA mainstream media, Seductive voice, South African Black Female Photographers | Tagged | 1 Comment

2013 Aug. 26: Just one day


by Maureen Velile Majola

 

I am in no position to write a piece to celebrate Women’s month
How do I even begin to celebrate
when women are raped every day in this country
When a girl child cannot trust any male figure in her life
When WE (women) can’t enjoy the freedom that was fought for in 1956

How do I even utter HAPPY Women’s day
When I am not happy to be a woman, living in a township.

Where do I begin?
How do I even say it without
thinking of all the women
who have been killed by their partners?

Without mentioning all the women
that have to live with secrets
of what their husband do to their girl children.

Without thinking of the 4 year old girl
Who has been molested and raped by her own flesh and blood?

Without me mentioning all the women
who report cases of violence
and receive secondary victimization from the police force?
Where do I start?

If I am to count all the teenagers,
young women, children, mothers, grandmothers and aunts
who have been victims of rape and abuse from the hands of men.

Where do I start with a celebration piece?
When there’s a woman fighting for her life in a hospital bed?

When there are women trying to press charges
at the police station and they’re turned down?

When there’s a child being sexually violated as I’m typing this?
How can I rejoice when I fear that,
having a vagina might just get me killed?

I am not about to pretend like I’m all excited that its Women’s month
When I am faced with bigger issues and problems with just being a woman
They may bruise you
Hurt you
Try to break you
Ridicule you
Call you unfit
Say you’re barren
and pull you down

Still, You remain a loving woman
You keep calm
And act rationally on every issue

You keep giving Love
Even to those that hurt you and your children

Indeed you are a forgiving Soul
You keep, keeping on because,
You believe that one day it will all come to an end
and one day
WE may all enjoy the Freedom given to us by the Women of 1956

Women have faith for one day
We, all will enjoy the fruits of our labor.


Previous by Maureen


2013 Aug. 13: Indlovukazi

and


2013 Aug. 6: My body as a subject of hate crime

and

2013 July 20: I’ve lived with her for years


and

2013 July 7: Trouble Soul


and

2013 June 21: The Princess of Norway pitched just for Muholi


and

2013 June 4: My Only Man

and

2013 May 16: Don’t touch ME!

and

2012 March 20: There’s a strawberry garden between your legs

Posted in Another Approach Is Possible, Hope, Human body, Human rights, Power of the Voice, Queer poetics, Queer texts, ReClaim Your Activism, Records and histories, Relationships, revolution, Silence, Society, Socio-economic, South Africa, South African Artists, Townships, We Are You, We Care, Womanhood, Women's power, Youth voices | Tagged | Comments Off on 2013 Aug. 26: Just one day

2013 Aug. 26: Will You Ever

by Steve Nkumbi

I haven’t a slightest clue how you stole my heart…
but you did anyway
See I am mad at myself for loving you
Beautiful conversations,
sweet kisses,
warm hugs and that amazing fuck
Led me to this pothole,
called love
I know not how to climb out and so
I’m left with these unwanted feelings
that just cannot seem to fade away
And only seem to get stronger…

See, I couldn’t even go with my mind on this one
because inevitably the heart and mind were
dancing to the same rhythm
And it automatically goes back to the same old cliché
of you saying you don’t want to break
my heart
You don’t want to break my heart? …
what right does she have to make decisions
for this potent organ bating inside my chest, I ask
Well, maybe I want to fall deeply with you
so that when you eventually break my heart
I will not only be left with a broken heart,
but I will know how it feels
To hurt for the one I truly love
I tried to tell myself that this was just a physical thing!
A spiritual love affair is what started this love thing

In all honesty! I couldn’t care less how you claim you’ll ruin me
And break my heart,
for I have already been ransacked and robbed by you
This heart of mine you stole
I want to believe you when you say you love me,
but I don’t
So I want to drop the ball but sadly I ain’t no rugby player
I’ll continue loving you until my heart gives in
I’m afraid that when you realize I loved you,
I’ll be wishing I never met you
side my own chest, I ask
Well, maybe I want to fall deeply with you
so that when you eventually break my heart
I will not only be left with a broken heart,
but I will know how it feels
To hurt for the one I truly love
I tried to tell myself that this was just a physical thing!
A spiritual love affair is what started this love thing

In all honesty!
I couldn’t care less how you claim you’ll ruin me

I want to believe you when you say you love me, but I don’t
So I want to drop the ball but sadly
I ain’t no rugby player
I’ll continue loving you until my heart gives in
I’m afraid that when you realize I loved you,
I’ll be wishing I never met you.

* Pls note that this piece was first published in Sparkling Women, Edition 19.

2013 Aug. Sparkling Women issue

About the author

Steve Nkumbi, Is a young Black Lesbian who is an expressive activist and film maker, through her poetry and song writing she fights for all the Black homosexual women who are silenced and violated for being who they are.
She believes that power lies not only in our actions but in our words too.

She aims on combining the power of actions and words while she is being the voice of the voiceless women in South Africa and aims on sharing every aspect of it with the world and that is why she is doing film.
“It’s hard enough being a woman in South Africa, being a black woman and homosexual in S.A is 100 times harder” she says.

Filmmaking is the driving force behind this passionate expressive activist, as she uses filmmaking and poetry to explicitly demonstrate what women endure on a daily basis.

Posted in Affaire, Another Approach Is Possible, Art is Queer, Beauty, Before You, Black Queer & Gifted, Contributors, Kisses, Love, Power of the Voice, Relationships, Self-worth, South African Artists, South African Black Lesbian Filmmakers, Sparkling Women publication by Cheryl Roberts, Visual Arts | Tagged | 5 Comments

2013 Aug. 26: “Lesbians are Women too”

MuKho I, as part of the B(L)ACK exhibition in 2010.
Photo by Jessie Imam. Art direction by Zanele Muholi

“Lesbians are women too”
The title of this post is from a quote by Viola May featuring in Difficult Love (2010) documentary co-directed Peter Goldsmid & Zanele Muholi, commissioned by South African Broadcasting Corporation (SABC).

A Visual Archive.

A collaboration with Jessie Imam.

Studio portraits of the artist and a friend, titled MuKho I.
Location: Monash University (Art & Design Dept.) Melbourne, Australia.
(2010)

Posted in As we are, Beauty, Before You, Exposure, Life, Photography, Politics of existence, Records and histories | Tagged | 2 Comments