2013 July 3: Another brutal murder of a lesbian

Posted on July 3, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

by Lesego Tlhwale

As the LGBTI community in South Africa on the 1st July 2013, we were woken up by news of the brutal murder of one of our own; Duduzile Zozo, a 26 year old lesbian from Thokoza, East of Johannesburg.

Daily Sun, a local tabloid newspaper reported that, “The 26-year-old’s half-naked body was found in her kasi in Thokoza, Ekurhuleni yesterday morning (30 June 2013).”

The newspaper further stated that, “a toilet brush was rammed into the deceased vagina.”

Captain Godfrey Maditsi who was also interviewed by the paper, confirmed the news and told daily sun that “A murder case has been opened and we ask the community to come forward with any information that could help put those responsible behind bars.”

However, Maditsi said that, “the cops couldn’t confirm whether Duduzile Zozo was raped or not. They could only confirm that a toilet brush was rammed into her vagina as they found it still inside.”

Her mother, Thuziwe Zozo, told the paper that she suspected that her daughter was killed because of her sexuality: “She was a lesbian but never had any problems before. People loved and appreciated her.”

The case of Duduzile Zozo, like many other lesbian cases caught the attention of the media, as most of local and international media ran with the story.

Since reports of the gruesome murder made headlines locally and internationally, we have since seen political parties and other civil society organisations releasing statements condemning the brutal murder of the young lesbian.

COSATU’s Patrick Craven said in a statement, “COSATU is outraged at the continuing high level of violence against women and girls, and demands that no effort be spared to arrest whoever was responsible for this despicable murder, and that the courts impose an exemplary sentence.”

The Democratic Alliance Shadow Deputy Minister of Women, Youth, Children and People with Disabilities (DWYCPD), Helen Lamoela also released a statement expressing The DA’s is shock and sadness by reports of the brutal rape and murder of Duduzile Zozo.

DA stated that, “Government is not doing nearly enough to eradicate the scourge of violence against women and children in South Africa.”

The DA went further on to criticize the progress of the National Council Against Gender-Based Violence based within the DWYCPD formed over six months ago and the silence of the LGBTI National Task Team which was formed two years ago by the Department of Justice and Constitutional Development.

Helen Lamoela said, “DA will submit parliamentary questions to the Department of Justice to query the progress of this task team. We will also request that the National Council Against Gender-Based Violence be summoned to Parliament to present progress made on its plans and programmes to curb violence against women and children in South Africa.”

The murder of Duduzile happens just a week after Amnesty International released a report called ‘Making Love a Crime: Criminalisation of Same-sex conduct in Sub Saharan Africa’.

The report highlighting violence, homophobia and laws targeting LGBTI people in Sub Saharan Africa, with particular focus on Kenya, Uganda, Cameroon and South Africa.

Amnesty International reported on the plight of black lesbians in South Africa.

The report stated that, “Taunts, insults and threats are a constant reality and are in fact so common that many LGBTI people do not even recognize them as a form of violence. Sexual assault and other physical attacks against LGBTI people are also all too common. Lesbians, and LGBTI people who do not conform to culturally approved models of femininity and masculinity live in fear of being assaulted, raped and murdered by men”.

Amnesty International over the past few months have partnered with Ekhuruleni Pride Organising Committee (EPOC) an LGBTI organization based in Ekhuruleni, a township which now known to the lesbian community as a hot spot for lesbian rape and murder.

Both organisations have been working together in making sure that the case of Noxolo Nogwaza, a 24 year old lesbian activist who was brutally murdered in Kwa-Thema two years ago, is investigated and perpetrators brought to book.

According to Bontle Khalo of EPOC, “Amnesty International has been campaigning to ensure that Noxolo’s murder is investigated thoroughly and effectively, so that those found to be responsible may be brought to justice.”

Furthermore, Amnesty International has been running a campaign locally and internationally calling for Justice for Noxolo. These campaigns have been running since May 2012, and they have targeted local and provincial police authorities, as well as the Gauteng Premier.

In recent developments of the campaign, Amnesty International has been lobbying for legislation to combat hate crime, legislations that would compel the police to compile statistics of lesbian and gay murders and rapes.

“Hate-crime laws would improve the policing and judicial response to such crimes and help develop effective mechanisms to monitor such crimes”, stated the report.

The case of Noxolo Magwaza that Amnesty International is working on is one of many murder cases that have been under-investigated in Ekhuruleni.

There’s the case of Girly Nkosi who was murdered in 2009, Nokuthula Radebe murdered in 2011, and Patricia Mashigo murdered 2013 and many others which were not reported or are unknown to me.

The aforementioned cases, represent only those murdered in Ekhuruleni alone, South Africa has many more neglected cases of LGBTI people who were murdered for being homosexuals.

The fraction of statistic mentioned shows how little the police authorities are working on making sure that the cases are diligently investigated and perpetrators arrested.

It took the South African Justice System six years and 30 court appearances, for 19 year old Zoliswa Nkonyana’s 2006 murder case to be concluded and her killers sentenced.

The brutal killing of vulnerable LGBTI individuals is extreme, merely releasing a statement condemning the act is not enough; the LGBTI community needs actions, Interventions, and legislations to be put in place in order to combat these barbaric acts.

There is an urgent need for educational programmes and awareness campaigns to address the attitudes and biases that lead to these hateful crimes.

South African townships are no longer safe for lesbians, every day a black lesbian wonders if they are NEXT?.

Previous articles by Lesego

2013 June 20 Inkanyiso Sees The Rainbows with Norwegians

and

2013 June 5: Lesego sharing the work of Inkanyiso at the LGBT conference in Salzburg, AUSTRIA

and

2013 May 18: After Mask … Hear Us Out


and
2013 May 15: SA Task Team representatives fail the LGBTI community


and

2013 April 28: Bleak freedom for black lesbians in South Africa


and

2013 April 12: Bros B4 Ho’s at the OIA film festival opening


and

2013 March 24: Recognition of LGBTI Activist should be a culture

and

2013 March 16: Dangerous love


and

2013 Feb. 12: A dildo is not a man; it’s a fantastic toy…


and

2013 Mar.1: Definitely NOT “Gaysbian”

 

Posted in Another Approach Is Possible, Archived memories, Art Activism in South Africa, As we are, Before You, Black Lesbians, Black Lesbians & Allies Against Hate Crimes, Community, Community Mobilizing, Creating awareness, Evidence, Homosexuality, Inkanyiso media, Johannesburg, Organizations, Power of the Voice, South Africa, Violence, Visualizing public spaces, We Are You, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, Writing is a Right | Tagged , , | 25 Comments

2013 June 30: Durban gays and lesbians say NO to hate crimes in SA

Posted on July 1, 2013 by inkanyiso2009
Thembela Mtshali & Friend @ Durban Pride_5413

Thembeka Mtshali @ 2013 Durban Gay Pride.
© Mthoko Lembethe


Text by Londeka Siba Dlamini

There was no march around the city on this year’s Durban Gay Pride festival which took place on the 29th June 2013 at the Amphitheatre in Durban North beach. Usually when its a gay pride Lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders walk around the city with boards written ‘STOP HATE CRIME AND ABUSE TO HOMOSEXUALS’ and many sayings but basically just showing that they are proud of being who they are. This time around gays and lesbians gathered at north beach carrying camp-chairs and picnic blankets just to chill and talk about issues they face from time to time.

The Pride festival was supported, even by government officials and political leaders. Jomo Sibiya, the ANC Chairperson in Durban says they are working very hard to stop hate crime against homosexuals, “We as the ANC we recognize the rights of lesbians and gays and we are pushing in South Africa as a whole for them to be liberated and the struggle is not over, people like Tata Mandela fought for us to be free so why should we oppress one another”.
On the other hand Deputy caucus leader for DA said, “We all have rights and our sexuality does not determine who we are and we are all South African citizens”

They all acknowledged and spoke about leaders that fought for us to be free and wishing Madiba a speedy recovery.

Pastor Zinzi Zungu for Victory Ministries Church International (VMCI) stresses that gay and lesbians must believe in God and go to church more often, “My name is Pastor Zinzi Zungu and I am a proud lesbian Pastor, God loves us all we must show the world that we are capable of doing anything and being gay is not a sickness but rather who we are”.

The atmosphere was over flowed with fun and excitement, lots of performances by proud lesbians and gays were amazing.

Senny Mzolo left the crowd asking for more when she performed a song by Dj Ganyani “Isigubhu”. After her two lesbians were on fire singing afro-pop, Marcia who has been to Idols and Pop stars and also performed with a well-known group called The Soil and Andiswa who says she is proud of being who she is also she is a vocalist and an actress. Miss Gay Jozi was also there she performed a song by Dj Zinhle “My Name Is” performing together with a group of gay guys called Simply Blue who also did Tango and performed many songs.

The gay pride was a success everybody that was there was excited and having fun. After party was at Boulevard so after the festival most people left for that event.

“MY PRIDE MY RIGHT,
MY RIGHT MY PRIDE!!!”

queers & queens_5249
crowd_5348

Previous by Londeka

2013 June 18: New Brand For House Music Lovers

and

2013 June 16: Zishade libalele izitabane

Posted in Our lives in the picture, South Africa, Visual history is a Right not a luxury, Visualizing public spaces, We Are You, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

2013 June 30: When Women’s private parts have no Privacy

Posted on June 30, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

by Lerato Dumse

Women in South Africa face many challenges; however, being a woman in some parts of Makhaza, Khayelitsha must be a nightmare.

The issue was first brought to my attention in 2010, when residents marched against Khayelitsha open toilets erected by the Cape Town government. Attempting to remedy the situation, government then used corrugated iron to create some form of privacy but this failed to impress residents. People in this area have to walk long distances to access flushing toilets and this is unsettling in light of alleged incidents of women being raped while going to the toilet. Another government solution was providing the community with mobile toilets, which is perceived to be an insult.

The recent news headlines on human waste being used, in an attempt to highlight the plight of residents, coincided with my period and that got me thinking a lot. I have never met anybody who looks forward to having their periods, except those suspecting an unwanted pregnancy. So I can’t imagine what this time of the month, which demands privacy must be like for women in Khayelitsha.

Women are forced to take care of their intimate needs in full view of the public. It’s mind boggling to think that a woman has to ‘go’ in public but worse when they are menstruating. What about those that prefer tampons? Do they even have a choice or are they even at liberty to make that choice?

During a discussion on open toilets in Makhaza section, which was a burning issue in 2010, a friend, pointed out that although some rooms in the house might not have doors, the toilet is the one room that always has a door. An article by photographer David Harrison, who has been documenting the toilet issue in Khayelitsha, was published in the Mail & Guardian this April. In the article, he recounts how he finds himself in the middle of an open latrine surrounded by faeces in varying states of decomposition.

“An overwhelming smell assaults my senses; I struggle to fight my gag reflex. Site C residents emerge carrying buckets, containing ‘dirty water’ accumulated in their shacks the night before, which they throw out on to the ground. I have seen how far away many toilets are.” These are the unfortunate experiences of an observer, who like the rest of us is fortunate enough to be able to go home to a flushing toilet. The only time most of us are forced to use mobile toilets is when attending events.

Even then, we try to avoid them, only go in when it’s absolutely necessary. And by the end of the day they are usually in an unhygienic condition. I can’t imagine their condition after a week in Khayelitsha.

Most people were shocked to see and hear how community members were throwing raw sewerage at Western Cape Premier, Helen Zille‘s convoy. How the provincial legislature and other governmental buildings and events were targeted by the sewerage wielding residents. We saw on TV women take turns “demonstrating” how they have to sit on the portable loo in view of all. I am in no way condoning their actions and have no aspirations of joining, based on the “two wrongs don’t make a right” philosophy.

But the truth of the matter is, handling buckets containing human waste with their bare hands is something they experience daily. The only difference is that they are not dumping on the ground. Sitting on the portable toilet on the city’s steps and being exposed during the day was probably not hard to do, as sitting at the city’s steps is much safer than their reality.

All Africa posted an article by Marry-Anne Gontsana on the 5th June 2013.
She gives statistics of a research conducted by the city of Cape Town. It rates Khayelitsha as having the fourth highest number of reported rape cases in Cape Town. “The latest police crime statistics reveal that Khayelitsha remains one of the highest contributing areas to violence against women and children.”

It also comes as no surprise to me that Khayelitsha reportedly has the highest number of diarrhea-related infant deaths of all districts in Cape Town. Water tested from the area show high levels of raw sewerage and of E.coli bacteria, responsible for diarrhea.

How many mothers have to bury their young, I wonder.

Related articles

Faeces thrown at Helen Zille’s bus

and

Cape Town’s botched toilet contract

and

Police hauled before court in Makhaza toilet saga

and

Makhaza toilet protestors absent from court

and

City of Cape Town loses open-toilet battle

Previous by Lerato Dumse

2013 June 24: @ 25 revisited two months later

and

2013 May 17: One sided fight against Homophobia and Transphobia

and

2013 June 1: Zandile’s 21st birthday photos

and

2013 May 6: Archiving Noxolo Nogwaza’s funeral

and

2013 March 28: Feather Awards (re)viewed

and

2011 May 13:  Kwa-Thema Praying for homophobic victims.

and

2011 May 3:  Black Easters for black lesbian community

Posted in Another Approach Is Possible, As we are, Before You, Community, Creating awareness, Education, Evidence, Expression, Feminism, Health, Johannesburg, Khayelitsha township, Our lives in the picture, Rape, Records and histories, SA mainstream media, Townships, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, Writing is a Right, Youth voices | Tagged | 8 Comments

2013 June 29: Aspen Ideas Festival (2013) photos

Posted on June 30, 2013 by inkanyiso2009
2013 June 29: Aspen Ideas Festival gallery

Annie Lennox centred (in a white top)

Photos by Zanele Muholi
Location:  Colorado, USA.

… this is not June Handicap but 2013 Aspen Ideas Festival in America.
It is the place of beauty, richness, celebrities, good food… so much shared knowledge.

2013 June 29 Aspen ft Jets_6482

Private jets at the Aspen Airport for some of the delegates at the AIF

2013 June 29 Farai Chideya_6578

Farai Chideya, journalist who’ll be moderating the session (30.06.2013)

citizen artists_6422

Citizen artists session (28.06.2013)

Anna Deavere Smith at the Women on TV session

Anna Deavere Smith at the Women on TV session

2013 June 29 Aspen _ Anna DS performance_6488

Anna Deavere Smith performance.
Reading Martin Luther King’s Letters from Birmingham Jail.

2013 June 29 Aspen_6499

2013 June 29 Aspen_6509

2013 June 29 Aspen with Anna DS_6506

2013 June 29 Aspen speaker - Politician_6551

Survivor of a 2011 gun attack, Gabrielle Giffords and her husband Mark Kelly gave a moving presentation earlier

Related link here

2013 June 29 Aspen _ speaker from Afghanistan_6549
2013 June 29 Aspen _ Annie Lennox_6548
2013 June 29 Anna s performance_6507
2013 June 29 Anna Deveare Smith performance 1_6511

Farai & Muholi. Photo taken on request by George Stump (STUMPFILSM)

Farai & Muholi.
Photo taken on request by George Stump (StumpFilms)

Quotes from speakers and interview with Farai Chideya will follow.
Difficult Love will be screened tomorrow. Please see notice below.

Session announcement

Session announcement for the 30th June 2013 @ 10h20 –

Posted in Another Approach Is Possible, Our lives in the picture, Photo album, Records and histories, Reports, Visualizing public spaces, Writing is a Right | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

2013 June 23: Beyond Binaries meeting

Posted on June 29, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

A REPORT

by Siyasanga Joyi & Thekwane Bongi Mpisholo

2013 June 20: Beyond Binary meeting

Beyond Binaries was the title given to the group which attended a three day meeting that took place at Wits University from the 20th to the 22nd June. The meeting was held with the purpose of creating an alliance between Southern countries, and saw a merging of minds and ideas between individuals from different spectrums and nations, namely Turkey, San Francisco, South Africa, Mexico and Australia.

The atmosphere was one overflowing with a concoction of mixed emotions and uncertainty. Anxiety, overwhelm and fear of the unknown were but some of the sentiments that initially played in the scene. However, that was soon to be replaced by deliverance that exceeded expectation. Some of the agendas included discussions about gender-based violence, sexual minority, diversity, freedom of speech, as well as desensitization of the community and society at large.

The function saw a number of sixteen attendees who were present. Amongst the delegates who attended were Vek Lewis (PhD Professor at Australian University), Abeyami Ortega (PhD Professor and activist from Mexican University), Ed McCaughan from San Francisco University (PhD Professor), Sivval Kilic (Transgender Activist) from Turkey, Gabrielle Le Roux, (activist, artist, student of life, humanitarian) from Cape Town , Julia Charlton (Wits University Director), Tracey Klarenbeek (Head of Sociology at Wits University), Haley McEwan (Wits University Sociology Department and organizer of the overall meeting), Kuleke Mawola (Programme Directore at Blue Sky Funding), Thekwane Bongi Mpisholo (videographer from Inkanyiso, activist, artist, writer, archivist, and researcher), Tapuwa Moore (writer, performer, and theatre director and curator, and Naze Flavier
( Transgender Activist) from Burundi.

What some speakers and members of the audience had to say

“In my home, Burundi I was chased told it’s not safe after I went to the Cape Town trangender conference”.
Flavier

“I am blessed to be amongst you guys with different stories that will inspire my next piece in theatre work”
– Tapuwa

“In Mexico the police blackmail the family with regards to their loved one’s photos being published after they were found dead to the public”.
– Aberyami

 “What we have accomplished here now is a platform for future generations to continue our legacy”.
– Thekwane

“This is how funding is 1st application is between 20 000.00 duration to spend funds and 2nd application is between 1 n 3 million” duration to spend the money is 3 years”.
– Kuleke Mawola:

Objectives and goals were to create awareness, building a tolerant society that is not homophobic nor trans-phobic. For all those who are within the lgbti  community  that were going. Tools which will be used to obtain objectives and goals are the collaborations
between Gabrielle Le Roux with transgender portraits and messages on the portraits. While Muholi will presents pictures of transgender men as part of ongoing Faces & Phases project.

Where to from now the mission of the exhibition to be launched by the 30 January –  30 March 2014. The exhibition should not only be made available at the wits museum,  where people from different locations surrounding Johannesburg will be offered transport to come.
But include it being taken to the people in the locations as well for better attendance. Having a summary of the exhibition translated to at least six different languages in order to incorporate in our South African diverse culture.

Previous by Siyasanga

2013 May 27: Hand me a job…

Posted in Another Approach Is Possible, Art Activism in South Africa, Art Solidarity, Beauty, Before You, Collectivism, Media works, Power of the Voice, Queer Africa, South Africa, South African Curators, Writing is a Right, Youth voices, Zanele Muholi | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

2013 June 28: So What Is This?

Posted on June 29, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

by Charmain Carrol

When you love someone,
but the best option is to stay away…
I seem to think of you every second minute of every hour of the day.
I keep seeing flashes of you the morning after it all began.
I keep seeing your hands holding me so tightly,
and I never want you to let go.
What could it be?
Puppy love?
or
Love at first sight?
I’m too old for all of the above
I should know what I want.
I should know if I’m in love or not.
But I don’t… or do I???

All I want is you
All I want is to be in your arms and feel safe.
All I want is to laugh with you, I want to be happy
I can’t remember when the last time I was in love.
The last time I was swept off my feet.
The last time someone made me smile
and my cheeks just hurt because I couldn’t stop.
Was taken out on a romantic dinner,
and had my feet rubbed.
and laughed over silly jokes
but it seemed to be the funniest thing ever
and got lost in the kisses we shared.

But we can’t be
We can’t be who we want to be
She is with another
I’m with another
Whoever wrote the book of love
forgot to mention that you cannot choose for the heart

It unfortunately has a mind of its own
It has its own taste
It has no age
It has its own and its own language.
That only you and I understand
You would say the silliest things
and I would find the humour in it

So what is this?
I’m to walk away; I can’t seem to pick up my feet.
I’m to stop calling but when I look at my phone
you’re the first person I want to call
I’m to stop loving you.
But my heart skips a beat at the mention of your name
When I think of you instead of butterflies in my tummy
I feel the whole Zoo roaming around
I can’t seem to stop smiling
How am I to stop loving you
when love is the only thing we have
Staying away is not an option,
but if it makes you happy or it’s what you want
With blood sweat and tears I will standstill and watch you leave.

Previous by Charmain

2013 June 26: S/he is a Bleeding Man

and

2013 Feb. 8: “Let your voices be heard”


and

2013 Feb. 12: Mo(u)rning in the morning


and

2013 March 8: Affirmation – I Am A Lesbian


and


2013 Feb. 8: Mo(u)rning the loss …

Posted in Archived memories, Art Solidarity, As we are, Beauty, Before You, Black Lesbians, Charmain Carrol, Community, Complicated Lesbian Relationships, Crea(c)tive senses, Creative Writing, Evidence, Faith, Family, Homosexuality, Johannesburg, Lady tactics, Life Stories, Love, Open relationships, Our lives in the picture, Power of the Voice, South Africa, Women; Voices; Writings; Education; Traditions; Struggles; Cultures, Writing is a Right | Tagged , | 7 Comments

2013 June 27: How I realised my sexuality

Posted on June 29, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

by Lehlogonolo Mela

I am a woman who loves women, not because men are not attracted to me, but simply because I am attracted to women. No I am not ugly, in fact I am drop dead gorgeous, nor have I ever been hurt by a man and no, unlike most lesbians I have never been raped or subjected to any other form of abuse.

I am a young butch lesbian, and in my entire life I have dated 3 boys only.  My first boyfriend was when I was in grade 8. He lasted a week.  He was what every cheerleader at school wanted but I wasn’t seeing the big deal.  He was mad about me and I just wanted to see why every pretty girl in school wanted him. The day I dumped him was the day he kissed me.  I felt nauseated and very offended.  Immediately after, I had to cut him loose.

I dated my second boyfriend when I was in grade 9 and he lasted 2weeks. He was good company; he was the guy who dated tertiary girls.  He had money and was the coolest boy in school.  But he wasn’t cool enough for me because each time he would use endearing terms like ‘baby’ and all those sweet names, I would just cringe. It bothered me. It seemed I was running away from all the’ it’ guys at school, I wanted to be nowhere near them. I dumped him the day he fondled my behind. He made me feel trashy, I wanted to knock his lights out, but instead I dumped him.

Then I thought it was time I stopped wondering around, left the boys and concentrated on sports. I mean I was just in grade 9, so I played netball. And boy did I love being on the field. Not only did it keep me fit, but it also made me have close interactions with other girls. I was especially excited by this one girl. Her name was Fatima. She played centre and she was very quick on her feet. I was taller than most girls so I was the goal assistant or the goal scorer a lot, plus I was good at aiming and hardly ever missed a shot.

One afternoon I had a fight with the coach because she thought I wasn’t doing well enough. She gave me hell and I just stormed out. I went to the changing rooms and took a long shower. As I stepped out, she was there, telling me how the coach is a bitch because she probably didn’t get laid. We laughed about it. She went in the shower as I got dressed, and I waited for her to finish up.  She was really fast and when she got out, I realised how excited I was to see her naked well shaped body with every body part looking so perfect like it was created to be seen. I couldn’t stop staring and she whipped me with a towel because in the process, I drooled. Then we laughed about it and she also quickly got dressed and we left the changing rooms.

When we parted ways, I walked to the bus stop, puzzled as hell as I didn’t understand why a girl evoked feelings of excitement, especially at seeing her naked. The next day was school normal and I couldn’t wait to see her.  After school we had practice as normal, but after practice, we walked together to the changing rooms and this time I didn’t want to take a shower, I just wanted to go home, but she had a different plan for us. As I said goodbye to her, she grabbed and kissed me, and I kissed back. For the first time in my life I kissed someone and didn’t feel the need to gag. It was magical. I felt like I was in a movie and I was the main character.

For the rest of the week, we would kiss daily after practice until one day we practiced till late and she thought we should take it to the next level. We kissed and undressed each other. Little did I know what was going to happen next but it all seemed right.

She was on top of me and we were rubbing against each other. She was slightly slimmer than me and I switched her over with my strong arms and I was on top of her. I fingered her, though I wasn’t quite sure if she would like it. She loved it!  We went on and on until she said she just exploded. I guess we both didn’t know at the time that it was called cuming. We laughed, she turned me over and said “your turn” she tried to insert her finger inside of me. I was dripping wet and felt the urge to be touched.

It felt uncomfortable and I guided her letting her know to keep her fingers outside because it felt good when she played around with my outer parts than the inside.  After a while, I exploded too. It was magic. It was the first time I came. I had just had sex for the first time, sex with another woman.  It felt right. We quickly dressed up, walked to the gate and went our separate ways.

The next day at netball practice, she kept smiling at me but I felt awkward. After practice that day, I didn’t go to the changing rooms.  She caught up with me and invited me for a sleep over. She lived close to the school and I had to take a 45minutes bus ride to get home.   I could not resist and called my mom and made up a story about an assignment that was due the next day.  She insisted on speaking to the parents and when we got to her house, the mother called my mom and it was okay.

We got into her room, locked the door and did it so many times. We even learnt how to muff each other. It was good. We were both so eager to learn and both so horny. After that day, we did it every day until I was expelled from school later that year. I had to leave; I had to change schools, worst of all I had to leave my awesome sex life.

I started my grade 10 in a school in the township and now I had to behave and my spoiled brat tendencies had to go. No more sports or all that, but there was a pageant.  The girl that won it was so sexy, and the guy, well, looked like ‘Craig David’. I wanted a piece of the girl, but did not know how to approach her.  The question in my mind was, “are there any girls like Fatima, or just her?” and I was too chicken to find out. A week later, “Craig David” asked me out. Every girl wanted a piece of him but he wanted me. So I gave him a hard time for a full year. The guy was sweet. Plus he thought I was the coolest thing after sliced bread. So he was patient. After a year of him doing the chasing, I gave him a shot. We dated. He was my 3rd boyfriend and we lasted 3years. Yes I said 3 years.

In the three years I continued sleeping with Fatima. I went back for sleep overs, even my Craig David would drop me off at times because he was so sweet. He never once forced me to sleep with him or touch his manhood and I never. He told me I was worth the wait, because I told him I wasn’t ready. My sweet guy honestly believed he was going marry me.  To this day he still believes it, even though I am boyish looking.

After I went to tertiary, I officially and openly dated girls. It was who I was, it felt right.  I wanted to protect and take care of someone and I had visions of me making someone happy and safe in my arms. My dad’s role became what I wanted for myself. I accepted that I am different; I love girls and not because I’m rebellious, but because they excite me and make everything feel right.

I am a butch Lesbian!

About the author

My name is Lehlogonolo which means lucky, but my father prefers to say blessing instead. I am from Soshanguve, Pretoria but currently live in Centurion.

I work for a construction company. I just needed to share my story.

Posted in Beauty, Before You, Black Lesbians, Complicated Lesbian Relationships, Evidence, Expression, Homosexuality, Hope, Lesbian Love Is Possible in South Africa, Love, Records and histories, Relationships, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, Writing is a Right | Tagged | 10 Comments

2013 June 27: Who I Am

Posted on June 27, 2013 by inkanyiso2009


by Bulumko

I ‘came out’ as a lesbian to my friends and some family members only a few months ago. Realizing that I was sexually and emotionally attracted to women, in my early teens, was very terrifying but being in the closet has to be the pits.

You constantly have to put on a façade and keep track of all your actions, in case you stare too long at a girl passing by.

I still remember my first crush. She lived right around the corner from my house. Whenever I saw her walk past, I bit the lip and at the shock of what I was doing, pray that what I was going through was just a phase.

Four years down the line and girls still do it for me.

As if knowing that you’re ‘different’ isn’t hard enough, family, friends and society have to constantly remind you that you don’t belong within their little boxes of perfection.

Men have this perception that they can cure us by rape, or performing any other hate crime that will remind us of our social status as women. They think that the little one-eyed snake will make us realize just how straight and homophobic we are-it won’t!

I still remember having conversations with my friends, as teenagers. All they seemed to talk about was their boyfriends and how amazing the sex was. Every now and then I had to grin and sigh as if I knew what they were talking about or at the least look interested. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that I love girls and actually I think the new girl in the group is so sexy!

I never did though. I swallowed the word vomit before it came out. Every time.

When I came out to my father, to my surprise he smiled and didn’t kick me out of his house. He picked up the phone and told our Priest that I needed to be prayed for. After an entire week with the good Priest for hours on end, my father finally gave up on that idea and sent me to a Sangoma. All sorts of potions were mixed. I bathed in green leaves for a whole month but nothing to my fathers’ satisfaction. I actually felt sorry for him because I knew how ignorant and controlling he was. I guess I expected too much from him. He is just my father after all. Nothing special. Maybe the “I love you regardless” speech was just too much for him to recite.

After a long journey of discovery I can finally say that I am content with who I am. As one of the T-Shirts I’ve seen says it: ‘Get it STRAIGHT I can’t be changed’.

I stay true to the soul encompassed by this body of mine. I have learnt to feed off peoples hate. I flourish under the light. I only have one weakness and that’s Beauty. I thought I’d share a piece I wrote when thinking of the moment’s Beauty and I have shared…and the next time she’ll bless me with her presence.

I loved Her then, I love Her still. Here it is:

I call her Beauty
The keeper of my heart.
She welcomes me home
With open arms
An open soul
And open doors.

I call her Beauty
The one I have but still yearn for.
Heart turned cold
Born – lifeless
Revived – breathless
Filled with emptiness.

I call her Beauty
As she lays with me
Feels me with her bare hand
That fills me with pure pleasure
As I suck the waters of her
Oh so wet island.
Dry.

She is the Beauty
That moans passionately when I enter
The doors she opens for me.
Beauty comes – only when I call.

© 2005

About the author

Bulumko means wisdom in Xhosa.
Surname reserved for personal interests.
The author is a 28 year old Xhosa lesbian, residing in Johannesburg.
She also identify as an activist.
She is a freelance writer and believes in the power of words.
She urges black lesbians to write to write their life stories and restore cultures and heritage zakwantu.

Posted in Complicated Lesbian Relationships, Crea(c)tive senses, Homosexuality, Jealousy, Love, Relationships, Secrecy, South Africa, Visualizing public spaces, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, Women who have sex with Women, Writing is a Right, Youth voices | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

2013 June 27: Butch & … Menstruation is Art

Posted on June 27, 2013 by inkanyiso2009
2013 June 27: Menstruation is Art

10h10 am

period 1 @ 06h00 DSCN5067

@18h00

period @ 12h46 DSCN5041

period 4 @ 14h21 DSCN5046

@14h21

period 4 @ 14h57 DSCN5049

@14h57

period 6 @ 14h59 DSCN5052

@14h59

period 7 @ 4h25 pm DSCN5054

@16h25

period 8 @ 11h59 DSCN5057

@11h59

period 9 @ DSCN5060

@15h49

period 11 @ 4h30 DSCN5062

@16h30

period 12 @ 4h32 pm DSCN5068

@16h32

period 13 @ 4h36 pm DSCN5080

@16h36

period 14 @ 4h37 DSCN5083

@16h47

period 14 @ 4h42 DSCN5098

@16h41

period 14 DSCN5088

@ 17h01

period 16 @ 5h24 DSCN5027

@ 17h54

Date:  3rd Feb. 2013
Location: Michel Bizot, Paris. FRANCE
Camera used: Nikon. COOLPIX S100
Exposure time: 1/25
Medium: Menstrual blood on A4 paper and serviette
Titled:  Each photo is time titled when the photo was captured.

These photos of my menstruation were in Feb. 2013 when I was in Paris.
It was a very cold day, snowing outside and I woke up bleeding with bad period pains. I decided to remain indoors for the whole day and visualized my menstruation.
Like I did before when I started photographing my menstrual blood.
I thought to myself how can I explain this to someone who might have different notions about being “butch” bleeding and suffering from menstrual pains. I turned the pain into a project. Later archived the pain.

Always torn (2005) by Zanele Muholi

Always torn (2005)
by Zanele Muholi

Ok. On a good day I use Always with wings.
Sometimes I use white serviette to produce better menstrual paintings with.
I go for 5 days straight with heavy flow on day 4.
I started my menstruation when I was eleven (11), which means that I’d have graduated with 4 degrees if one was praised for bleeding.
I’ve been bleeding and suffering from menstrual pains for more than 25 years. I left out some years because I just block it out of my head.

a friend said to me, "Phola ndod' uzoqina" English translation - Just Be Strong man. (2005)

a friend said to me, “Phola ndod’ uzoqina”
English translation – Just Be Strong man.
(2005)

In 1994 a gynecologist prescribed NovaSure contraceptive pills to stabilize the pains and also to help with my hormonal imbalance. Later on they got better and then I stopped taking them.
Early this year a butch friend recommended Mybulin coz she use it. It worked for 2 months and now it does not anymore.

This is project is not about that… but what it became

Read previous and see motifs exhibited at Blank projects in 2011 titled Isilumo Siyaluma (2006 – 2011)

Ummeli, 2011. Digital print on cotton rag of a digital collage of Menstrual blood stains.

Ummeli, 2011. Digital print on cotton rag of a digital collage of Menstrual blood stains.

What I said later… At the height of hate crimes and queercide in South Africa.

As we continue to live and survive in troubled times as black lesbians in South Africa and within the continent, where rampant hate crimes and brutal killings of same gender loving women is rife. This ongoing project is an activist/artist’s radical response to that violence.

The passage in which we bleed
The passage where we are/ were born
The passage through which we become (wo)men?
The erotic passage meant to be aroused, is raped
The passage we love is hated and called names
The sacred passage is ever persecuted

I continue to bleed each time I read about rampant ‘curative rapes’ in my ‘democratic’ South Africa.
I bleed every time queer bodies are violated and refused citizenship due gender expression and sexual orientation within the African continent.
I constantly bleed when I hear about brutal murders of black lesbians in our townships and
surrounding areas.
I’m scarred and scared as I don’t know whose body will be next to be buried.
I bleed because our human rights are ripped.
I cry and bleed as mothers, lovers, friends, relatives lose their beloved ones,
let alone the children that become orphans because of trans/queerphobic violence.
We bleed, our life cycles invaded, we bleed against the will of our bodies and beings.

Each patterned piece in this series represents a ‘curative rape’ survivor or a victim of hate crime,
the physical and spiritual blood that is shed from our bodies.

Click here to read statement

and

Click here for more motifs

Posted in Africa, Another Approach Is Possible, Archived memories, Art Solidarity, As we are, Before You, Black Lesbians, Black Lesbians & Allies Against Hate Crimes, Body Politics, Collectivism, Community, Creating awareness, Curative rapes, Evidence, Expression, Gender naming, Hate Crimes, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, Zanele Muholi | Tagged , , , , , , | 17 Comments

2013 June 26: S/he is a Bleeding Man

Posted on June 26, 2013 by inkanyiso2009

by Charmain Carrol

How does one cross the line with gender roles in our lesbian relationships?

As we discover ourselves or are on the quest of discovering ourselves, we have blurred the lines of where one gender begins and where the other ends.
Where do we draw the line?

blood stains (c) Zanele Muholi (2005)

archived photo… from Isilumo Siyaluma series
(c) Zanele Muholi
(2005)

The person in my life feels strongly about these defined gender terms and the traditional weight they carry but at the same time, physiology works against those desires.
That person ever so often tells me she is a man and wants to be addressed as such.

I, as a top femme woman, I conform to being the “woman” in the relationship. I adhere to her/his strong feelings on how ubaba (male household head) wants and should be addressed.

Blurred lines occur when the inevitable happens. Every month, Mother Nature comes with no beckoning. Her call must be heeded.
Now how do you tell ubaba that they have messed themselves with bordering on being disrespectful as tradition would dictate?

I remember an occasion when we were at a close friends place, hanging out and having fun. I found myself in an awkward situation as I noticed that s/he had or blotted with menstrual blood on pants.  As per their request, how do I approach ubaba to tell what has happened, now what do I say?
My mind started running wild trying to find the correct way to say it, baba uzincolisile (you have messed yourself)?
It does not sound right.

Which man bleeds?

But my person Bleeds

My man is comfortable with igazi lakhe

My man’s blood is liberation to him

My man is a man who bleeds and is okay with it.
Period…

Previous by Charmain Carrol


2013 Feb. 8: “Let your voices be heard”

and

2013 Feb. 12: Mo(u)rning in the morning

and

2013 March 8: Affirmation – I Am A Lesbian

and

2013 Feb. 8: Mo(u)rning the loss …



Posted in Another Approach Is Possible, Before You, Gynaecologist, Love, Records and histories, Relationships, South Africa, We Care, We Still Can with/out Resources, Women who have sex with Women, Writing is a Right | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments