I lay here, in pain tossing and turning
waiting for the birth of my daughter.
I try to lift my head but it won’t get off the pillow,
as my body starts to give way my abdominals go numb.
It’s almost time,
As I raise my legs to push, fear drowns me
Fear of bringing this precious life to this world
Fear that the life that I have nurtured and carried for nine months,
connected to her with the umbilical cord and have some one take it away.
The pain that I’ve been in to the time when the doctor says it is a baby girl.
To me this is not just a girl,
but a precious gem that allowed me to bring it to this world,
to take care of.
To the joys of choosing the name that would suit her best,
that meant something a name my baby will carry with pride.
On 30th June 2013 Duduzile Zozo meaning:
(to comfort) was found brutally murdered in her neighborhood
with a toilet brush inserted in her genitals,
among the other brutal killings that have been reported of black lesbians.
They call it hate crimes
They call it ‘curative rape’
I’m in labor and in mourning
Do I bring another girl child to this world?
When they are being killed like animals.
Who thinks of the mothers,
the mothers that carried those lives and gave them life?
Does your mother cross your mind
when you brutally end someone’s life?
Does your sister?
Does your aunt?
Does your granny cross your mind
when you shoved a toilet brush into my child’s vagina?
You have decided to end her life.
Who will get me through the days?
Who will help me with my light bulbs?
Who will help me get through the day
You have taken away my child
My life
My pride
As I’m about to bring this life into this world for you to condemn I am in labor and in mourning.
Dedicated to all the mothers who have lost their children, through brutal murders.
Does anyone take time to think of those women who carried those children, especially lesbian identifying hate crime victims.
© Charmain Carrol
2013
Previous by Charmain
2013 June 28: So What Is This?
and
2013 June 26: S/he is a Bleeding Man
and
2013 Feb. 8: “Let your voices be heard”
and
2013 Feb. 12: Mo(u)rning in the morning
and
2013 March 8: Affirmation – I Am A Lesbian
and
2013 Feb. 8: Mo(u)rning the loss …
inkanyiso.org 
2013 July 29: Education, Queer Youth, Hate Crimes: So where to from here?
by Jeremiah Sepotokele*
Hate crimes have destroyed many lives and communities in South Africa today.
As we reflect on lives that have been affected, the tragic story of the late Duduzile Zozo continues to haunt me. It is no secret that our queer youth have fallen victims of disturbing hate crimes, particularly black lesbians in the townships.
As I locate myself within this reality with considerable trepidation, I am confronted to explore some of the ways in which we (as queer youth) can equip ourselves at the height of these crimes. I have had discussions with a couple of my colleagues and the role of education seems to be brought up in many of our engagements.
So with this article I am hoping to connect (at least) how education can be instrumental to queer youth in particular as common victims of violence in this country.
After the Transformative policies for marginalized groups seminar conceptualized by Jeremiah in collaboration with Black Lawyers Association team at Wits University on the 24th July 2013.
L-R: Dominic Khumalo (BLA founder), Jeremiah Sepotokele (LLB student at Wits), Noma Phakade (GALA)
and Chief Justice Edwin Cameron (Constitutional Court), Johannesburg.
Education as ammunition can always be overemphasized as a form of empowerment of our youth and asserting themselves in society.
However, it is against the socio-economic reality in which the level of engagement this discussion takes. It is therefore important to admit that the queer youth of this country are placed in different social structures which are inherently unequal as much as they face similar struggles as a collective. This then affords us to look at education and the extent of its effect as far as empowerment is concerned, in a way that makes a reflection on the increasingly failing education system and ridiculous corruption rates. So it gets a lot stickier than one could ever imagine, but as queer youth what then remains the solution?
Chief Justice Edwin Cameron who presented his life story and activism to a group of about 120 individuals, mostly law students.
I may not have all the answers but I do not think the answer lays necessarily in the administrative formal education system. Moreover, I also do not think in light of the prevailing hate crimes against our bodies would the unilateral effort of empowering ourselves through education be significant in combating these evils.
Hate crimes are a reality and a general social problem which affects not only specific individuals in our communities but it is of public interest.
Therefore this calls for legislative, executive, judicial and private/personal action in order to confront and effectively deal with hate crimes.
So it is a collective societal responsibility and education (through formal or activist avenues) can only be effective in addressing misinterpretations of the queer identity by mainstream institutions.
About the author
*Jeremiah Sepotokele is a 3rd year LLB student at the School of Law, Wits University.
He is an Editorial Associate at the Wits Student Law Journal for Southern Africa and a Teaching Fellow at the South African Constitutional Literacy and Service Initiative.